Hello. It's two years on and I'm still working on this bloody story. At the moment I'm trying to make the characters' journey into the city a little more believable. In previous versions they came out of the desert and walked through streets of a fairly unreal, slightly fantasy-esque type city. Right now I'm trying to hammer down something more real. I'd like to know if this chapter works, is overkill, cliched or just shit. It's chapter fifteen, but don't let that put you off, there's a little catch up bit at the top.

Here's a link

thanks,

Colin M