I'm still re-writing my YA novel, Ripped, and have just uploaded a chapter that just doesn't seem to work. I have, I must admit, deliberately switched POV in the middle of the chapter, but I don't think that's the problem. Any help would be very much appreciated.

It's in the archive as Ripped if anyone would care to have a look.

Thanks!

Sue

Hi Sue,
Long time no hear... I'll have a go at reading, not that my opinion is up to much!
Just had to tell you that I saw Patrick in his pants!! More than once! Red they were..or perhaps more accurately, burgundy...
Saw his bod, too..nice muscly arms, tho could have had a bit more chest hair for my liking. Still you can't have everything.

x
tc

Well where have you been to see that? I am jealous. Very jealous. Boxer shorts or Y fronts? Please tell me not those small awful ones! I'm sure Patrick wouldn't wear those!

S
xx

<Added>

PS - sorry got distracted there for a moment! Your opinion is always valued. So there!

Don't panic, Sue they were Y-fronts! I s'pose I have to 'fess up, it was in the theatre with a few hundred other souls...but I'll always treasure it..Saw him on the last night of his latest West End venture 'A life in the Theatre' where he played a small-time hammy actor which involved lots of behind the scenes changes, hence exposure. But he meant it just for me[\b], I know he did....
x
tc

oops, overdone the bold there for a while