I've just uploaded the first part of a tale for younger folk.

I'd be interested to hear your views on it. It's at Part One .

And there's more if you're interested.

Thanks

jumbo

Excellent Jumbo. Will read it and comment later.
Sue
x

Thanks, Sue!

How much younger?

I think you should be okay, EP!!

I only had a short time to skim through it, but at first glance it looks enjoyable and highly readable. I'll try and get back to it later this weekend.

In the meantime, one thing you may wish to consider is deleting the very first line. Open the story from the second paragraph, the one that begins 'Yesterday was Jake’s tenth birthday...' It's a good paragraph, and you won't be losing anything that you can't slip in later.

Good luck with it.

Gary

Thanks, noe

Much obliged - and welcome to WW

jumbo