Ok, what am I doing wrong here? I'm working on chapter XI and I've hit the wall, mainly because I'm writing this section from the opposite gender. I don't know if I'm writing anything believable, so I've put up the first 500 or so words and would appreciate a few jaundiced comments, from the female contributors especially. I'm blind here, ladies. Help me out. I'm beginning to wonder if I would be better off simply writing the whole thing from Corrigan's viewpoint and cutting out the female POV altogether. Any opinions? I know it's difficult to judge on such a short contribution, but look at it this way: if I can't even manage 500 words and make them sound like it's coming from a woman's brain, then I have my answer.

http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/9044.asp

<Added>

Ok, this link shouldn't now lead anywhere, since I've closed off most of the work so far for a major rejig. Thanks to all those who've helped me to date. Hope to be back soon with more problems for you to solve!

FX