Ok, I have be doing some revising of the episodes that I have written so far, as per suggested by other Write word members, and I have made some changes in the episodes of my TV series that I have written so far.

First off, I have taken out most of the swearing that was in the scripts because I was watching the Batman cartoons the other day and realised that they don't use swearing in their stories. I know it was aimed at a younger audience, but it did have some very dark themes in the story. Also I feel the swearing now makes my stories look lazy so they are gone.
Next thing, as a suggestion from old friend, I've tried to tone down the amount of violence in public places. For example in Episode 3 Dragonia had a fight in the pub with her enemies. I took the fight scene out because Mindwarp returns to the pub later in the series, and he wouldn't be allowed to go back in if he caused a fight. I've also tried thinking how the actions of the super villains effect the people around them (see episode 2 for an example of this)
Also I tried to add a bit more storyline to the peaces rather than just random violence. Hopefully they are a bit better, but they still need to be improved.
Finally, if you decide to comment on it, can you make any comments at all about the grammar as I have really tried to improve it. I realised that the spell checker on the program I write my stories on is an american spell checker and there is no way to change it so I want to make sure that the grammar is suitable enough.

I have included a link to my homepage, rather than posting the things indivudually. I will also be posting a character list of the major characters in the story so that it's easy for you to understand the characters (I hope!). I will be posting some more stories at a later date. Any help you guys can give appreciated.

http://www.writewords.org.uk/members/my_writewords.asp

Hi,

I don't know if it is me but when I click onto the reference line at the bottom of your comment, it takes me through to my own Writewords page - not your revisions.

You need to get this right - perhaps David might help or some other Member who is more 'with it' on technical matters.

Len

Me too! How weird!!!!

Your right! Sorry about that folks! I'll do separate links to each episode.


<Added>

Ok. Ignore the link at the begining ong this post. Go to these links instead. Sorry about that guys!

Episode 1:

http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/7499.asp

Episode 2:

http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/7635.asp

Episode 3:

http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/7888.asp

Hope this works better this time! Sorry for any confusion before!

Or try this:

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