Hello everyone.

I've combined all the previous extracts of my first chapter, and added the missing parts. Is what I've posted a little too long? It's just that no-one appears to be commenting on it.

It would be great to get some feedback, either negative or positive.

A positive from me Newmark. I enjoyed it very much and am eager to read more.

Have done so- comment in group. I think it's great- really becoming an exciting piece of work. As to length of posts, I just think you have to allow people a bit more time to read and digest work if it is of length- you don't want off-the-cuff responses every time. So we all have to be a little patient! Also, I've read parts of this, and commented, then you add some, and then one has to read the whole work again to get a sense of the story. Which has been an enjoyable experience.