http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/6637.asp

Hello again, folks.

I've just uploaded the second draught of the next section of my novel. I'd really appreciatiate a thourough kicking, if anyone cares to shine up their boot. As ever, show me no mercy.

Specifically, in the first section I was accused of being too tight in my writing, not allowing the narrative to flow. Does anyone see any sign of improvement in this section?

Ladies, this is designed as a revolving POV novel, and this section is told from the point of view of Libby, the housemaid. Does she actually sound like a female voice to you? Can you "see" her, understand her, imagine yourselves on a girls' night out with her?

I'm having a little trouble with the re-write of the first section, specifically the opening paragraphs, which seemed to be the main problem area. I hope to crack it in the next few days, at which point I'll upload the revised draught. I'm already working on section III.

David