Hello

Please would anyone be able to tell me which of the two sentences work best for an opening of a novel?

http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/16516.asp

All the best and Merry Christmas!

Jen
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I like the second one, Jen - but either way I'd read on!

A
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Yep, I vote for the second one here too. It's a lot snappier.

JB

Thanks HollyB. So far two people like the first and two like the second. *g*

I am partial to the first but realise it sounds clumsier! Like I said in the beginners forum I wanted a killer sentence to start the novel and got myself into a tizz as to what worked best! Oh dear!

Thanks again though!

Merry Christmas!

Jen
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Oh update! The second one wins! Hooooray!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Merry christmas!

Jen
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<Added>

Thanks also waxlyrikal!