I always assumed it was illegal for the people of Ambridge to go into Borchesterford or whatever it's called without a permit, in case they strayed into a shop that sold something other than the Daily Mail.

LoL! Mind you, they had a gay wedding ages ago - or is that okay for even Daily Mail readers these days? And Kate's in South Africa, but her little sister Alice nearly came to blows with her best friend Amy, who's a committed radical, when Alice decided to go into the RAF (and then failed the selection).

Emma

I remember, now, that I stopped listening when Brian's wife, old enough to be a granny, agreed to bring up Brian's love child with the Irishwoman who died of cancer.She's already overlooked at least one of his former peccadilloes. He is very rich, so she's a bt like the Mary Archer of Borsetshire. Alice was put out and decided to leave home for a while. I wonder why she failed to get into the RAF? Her friend a committed radical? She must have stuck out a bit but I can't remember her. I really will have to look at the website.

Sheila

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Oh, Amy said she didn't want to go to the hunt meeting with Alice and Alice said she wouldn't know much about it, being black, as they didn't go hunting. Not just radical, but black! No wonder she's off the scene.

<Added>

This is the website where you can click on a list of characters and hear the row the two girls had:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/archers/

Yes, that was a good scene. Amy's father is the vicar, who's a widower and has now married Usha, to Amy's delight and racist Shula's disgust...

Emma

Ooh, you were right - my studies were interrupted by a right kerfuffle on Friday. I didn't catch all of it, but I gather Kenton did go round and punch the man he thought was responsible for stealing Shula's stuff (and poor Simon's Wii) . (Ah, now I remember the signs were all there - he'd been calling Shula 'Sis'a lot lately and I was just quietly gagging but should have realised it was a signal.)

Is it OK for people to go round beating up people up providng the batterer is a member of The Archers family? Or is there a chance Kenton will go to jail? (I hope)

It makes sense when you think about it, though. They put up with the most boring lifestyle imaginable and all those suffocating people just so they put in a decent bid for anything inheritable. It's bound to hurt when someone's trying to funnel it away as fast as it can accumulate.

My anti-Archers handbook calls Shula Britain's most promiscuous churchwarden. Has she had to resign yet/

Sheila

Yes, the Shula-Kenton twinnery only seems to get resurrected when times get tough...

Kenton got beaten up too, mind you. Syd got away with beating up Kathy's rapist, as I recall.

But clearly Alistair's still going to get into trouble over the dodgy reference. Can you be done for saying more in a reference than you honestly should?

Emma

Oh, I missed that bit about the reference. Maybe I can catch up on Sunday.

Sheila

I just read on another website that Timothy Bentinck, who plays David Archer, is the 12th Earl of Portland!

Here's his website:

http://www.bentinck.net/frame1.htm

Sheila

Cor! Good for him for keeping so quiet about it. He's descended from William III's Dutch favourite (and sometimes said to be lover) Bentinck:

But he couldn't have known he'd inherit:

on Portland's death in 1990 at the age of 93 the marquessate of Titchfield and dukedom became extinct. He was succeeded in the remaining titles by his distant relative (his sixth cousin) Henry Noel Bentinck, who became the eleventh Earl of Portland. He was the great-great-great-great-grandson of the Hon. William Bentinck (1704-1774), eldest son of the first Earl from his second marriage, who had been created a Count of the Holy Roman Empire in 1732. As of 2007 the titles are held by the eleventh Earl's only son, the twelfth Earl. He is also a Count Bentinck of the Holy Roman Empire. Known as Tim Bentinck, he is a well-known actor

He's not kept quiet about it, has he? If it's on his website. And I know that anyway because he's often on the Radio 4 show at nine on Sunday reviewing the papers and it's often been mentioned on that. He's very nice, though - no side, as they say. A bit like David, really. Funny, that!

I once had the pleasure of the Duke of Buckingham as a bridge partner, and he was as nice as pie, especially as I'm such a lousy player. But that's not the point.

I don't think earls should be on compulsorily-subsidised radio - unless they are playing the part of an earl, of course. I feel besmirched. I think quite a few more would fall out, though if a small-tooth comb were taken to the BBC. That's why I keep turning over to Vanessa Feltz. She's brash but at least you know you are going to get some self-selected members of the public phoning in. I am all in favour of the BBC losing their franchise - they're not supposed to be running a home for modestly talented aristos, although that's what it seems like at times.

Timothy Bentinck, it seems to me, probably didn't need to say 'I'm an Earl, giz a job', given his Harrow credentials. I looked up the more obviously toff-sounding Nigel Pargeter, educated at Charterhouse, but at least he's 'out', not always pretending to be interested in whether or not his cows have contracted mastitis.

I caught a few minutes and had a laugh yesterday - Jill Archr outlining local facilities to a young newcomer - twice-weekly church gatherings of the young wives. If I were her I'd have gone home to cut my throat and have done with it.

Sheila

Lol, Sheila!

But someone has got to help me. I missed a vital bit of last week's Omnibus. What did Brenda overhear between Matt and his partner-in-crime, whose name escapes me for the minute? I know he is now backing Sausage Boy but I feel I am missing out because I don't know why. I know it's some sort of deal Matt's struck with Bren who has promised to keep her mouth shut, presumably. It'll end in tears.

Iīm now in Lanzarote, out of Archers range. I remember Sausage Boy quarrelled with his partner Brian because he didnīt want to deal with the supermarkets. I suppose Brian doesnīt care about the purity of sausages. Certainly I havenīt notice organic sausages at Tescos.

I missed the other conversation, too. You can look at the website, Jem, is all I can suggest.

Sheila

Jem, it was some hanky-panky to do with the company spending money they didn't have, and/or hiding it from the rest of the board, I think. Not sure I understood it either... But the possibilities for mutual blackmail are endless.

Emma

Thanks, Emma. It sounds just the sort of scenario I need to come up with for a crime serial. Murders are so much easier, but Woman's Weekly likes to limit, in a year, the number of people who get knocked off. I don't think it's a mral thing, just at the risk of the crime serials sounding samey. Ya seen one stiff, ya seen 'em all!

Ya seen one stiff, ya seen 'em all!

Try telling the Misomer Murders scriptwriters that! The only one I've seen in recent years had murders so bizarre and so numerous that it was almost trippy...

But it's interesting, isn't it - for many readers a body does seem to be a sine qua non. One of the reasons that some people think Gaudy Night is Sayers' worst (the rest of us think it's in some ways her best) is that there isn't a murder. But maybe that's less true now non-detective crime, if you see what I mean, is such a big seller.

Emma