hey i joined this site because i generally want some other good writers opinion on my storyline if that would be okay :-)? this is just the general way the story is going, i still need to build around the plot. i have a title and charcter names but im keeping them to myself, i cant find or think of a storyline like this, and im proud of it, so if any of you know of a story line the same/similiar please let me know, just dont steal it :-(. i know its quite long, please read though!

kind of prelouge?
A young 19yo girl comes home, whining about how horrible her life is (basic trivial problem, her and her boyfriend have had a fight).. her mum, jealous of naivity, tries to explain life is alot bigger than that, her daughter asks how life was back in her mums day, and if her and her husband (daughters father) ever fought alot. mother goes on to tell her daughter about her life..

Her mother and father were killed in a car accident when she was 13, she was forced to go live with her aunt and uncle, who she didnt like. at 19 she got a flat in central town after keeping a waitressing job since she was 15, her flat was dingy, cold and basic. she cut off all ties with her aunt and uncle, so she had no one. her life goal at this point was to be a writer, and she had written some short stories about a boys friendship with a dragon, but had never showed them to anyone. she went to to library one day after work, and met a similarly aged girl, they clicked straight away. they became bestfriends, her friend taking her out and helping her socialise etc. she meets a guy on 
a bar, things hit off and they are together two years happily, until she comes home one night to find friend and man in bed. devastated, she stopped working, then gets evicted. having no other option, she goes back to her aunts. to find out her uncle had died of cancer and her aunt was now alot more tolerable. her aunt looked after her and got her a job at the local stables. here she met a young man, she took things slow but soon they 
were in love. they were together 5 years. her aunt passes away, and shes devastated, the only person she has fron her past is gone. her man keeps her going and soon proposes. after a while they talk of children. they try for 5 years, she eventually gives up and pushes him away claiming its his fault. All alone, she begins drinking, loving in her aunts inherited house, she doesnt care for herself, she lets herself spiral into a depression. She finally hears from him, who has been to doctors and is perfectly able to jave childen, he looks after her and takes her to the doctor where she is told,that it is indeed her who may never be able ro have children. She is assured that adoption would be a good option. She masks her devastation, livng her life apparently normally, while actually drinking and taking prescription medication. He tries to show her that things will work out, and tries hard to show her affection when they make love.. But shes too depressed to care anymore. one night, she decides she cant do it anymore, she foes down to the river, downs a full bottle of whiskey, crys, slits herseld and lies in the shallows awaiting death. She wakes up in a hospital, her man, holding her hand sobbinf. She has.no recollection of what has happened, he goes to explai, when a.nurse.comes throigh, saying thats "shes okay, lots of touch and go but shes okay".. Another.nurse then brings through a bundle! Against all odds she has managed to.conceive and carry a child to 8 months, en with her drinking! They had had to do an emergancy caeserean when she was unconcious. Overwhelmed by this, she cant take it in, it takes her a few days until she can even hold her daughter. Happy ever after... Extended ending somehow.

It goes back to her and her daughter in present, she picks up a book from her daughters table, her own book, that she has always claimed as fiction, which was really her life story. Teenage daughter, accepts that her life is easy and shes being stupid. Comes to an epiphany etcetc! 


some bits are a bit sketchy.. But the general story is there :-). Thoughts!? Please!? 

Hi Jambamm, and welcome to WW. It's a big site, so have a good nose round and find out where things are - and if you get stuck just stand in the forum and shout!

I hope you get some feedback here, but the best way to get feedback on your work is to join a suitable group, as that's where the vast majority of critting goes on, among people who've got to know each others' work.

As a part member you can join a group and upload a piece of work, so have a look among the Groups for one which looks right and is reasonably busy, and get stuck in, giving feedback as well as asking for it.

Emma

Her mother and father were killed in a car accident when she was 13, she was forced to go live with her aunt and uncle, who she didnt like: This bit instantly reminds me of Harry Potter. His parents die (he's told car crash) and goes to live with his aunt and uncle. So maybe change why they died, or don't make a big deal of this.

I generally like the story but it seems a bit melodramatic at times, so make sure the negative things that happen to her are balanced out by some positive and that we really get a sense of character, particularly at the beginning, as otherwise we may not want to follow the character through such a sad story.

I like the ending.