1. A writer is born not made. I believe rather that we become writers. However, all the writers I know are usually people who start life with a love of words and who also love reading. They generally prefer to observe life rather than participate in it too. Actually, all writers suffer from arrested development, very likely. Well, I do. I’d much rather play with my imaginary friends than go and work in an office with a lot of nasty grown ups.

If a love of words was all there was to it, though, there’d be far more writers than there already are – and that’s saying something. Only call yourself a writer after you’ve put in a good few years of practice, can paper your smallest room with rejection letters and then, even after you’ve put your last ounce of strength into your novel or story only to have it rejected again, you are willing to dig even deeper inside yourself to find more strength to unpick it and put the pieces together one more time. Or however many more times it takes to get it right. (See below: 7)
2. Writers are sensitive souls. No. It’s been said before but while others are trying to take in the broadcast of a piece of tragic news, like the one that’s come to light this week about the couple who threw themselves off Beechy Head because they couldn’t cope with the tragedy of losing their son, you are the one already writing their final dialogue. (See below: 3)


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There's a pair of menacing black thugs (cue cameo from facially tattoed Mike Tyson petting a tiny pooch, like Lenny in Of Mice and Men) and Asian gangsters who present an odd mix of violence and effeminacy.


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Just a little something I came across today.

I was reading an article in the Comments section of The Times Online about the male pill. The article was quite amusing, discussing the attitude of dog-walkers to un-castrated dogs, a study in China where only about four fifths of the men remembered to take the pill even though they were (presumably) being paid to take part in the experiment, and the tendancy of both men and women to lie about contraception. All interesting reading over a lunch hour.
Being the online version, comments had been posted at the bottom of the page. One included the phrase 'i loled when I read about your dog'.

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This insanely hot weather is making me all funny (in a humorous way) so I've brought some giggles (hopefully) to the blog this week. I've just watched a Paris Hilton film too, so my brain is not really geared up to tell you all about the shakers and movers in the publishing world! This film, The Hottie and the Nottie, tells the story of Nate who moves to L.A. to track down Cristabel, the woman he's been in love with since childhood, only to discover that his plan to woo her has a hurdle to overcome - what to do with June, Cristabel's not-so-hot best friend? It's a movie of opposites - good and bad, beautiful and ugly, and with this in mind, I am employing the idea 'hottie and nottie' to this post.

Below are two covering letters, one hot (well, I wouldn't go that far as it was written by me, but it gives you a rough idea), and one not so hot. The letters have been written to imaginary agents, by a Mr A. Moron and a Mrs I.M. Smart (that's me). Hopefully this blog is self-explanatory, but in case you are a little worn by the heat, the first is a covering letter which you wouldn't send to an agent - not even in your wildest dreams - while the second is my own sent to a top agency, who, in their rejection e-mail complimented me on a 'very good covering letter.' Now I don't want to get all big-headed about this, but it should give the novice writer a rough idea of what an agent is expecting to receive. Mr Moron wrote his letter in green biro on the back of a soggy cereal-stained Cornflakes packet, while Mrs Smart typed her letter out and printed onto nice white paper.




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When I was one of two authors commended for this year's Orange Award for New Writers, I was stunned. To be singled out, together with the 3-book shortlist! I didn't even know The White Road and Other Stories had been put forward. And while this was something that was very hard for me to internalise on a personal level, not being one of those who thinks her stories are better than anyone else's, it was instantly obvious to me what a wonderful thing this was both for short story collections and for small independent publishers. All around me were novels and mainstream publishing houses. And there was my little book!

There was already a slight tinge here because in the press release announcing the shortlist, C E Morgan and I were commended with wonderful words but our books were not mentioned. Had people seen that something which had "and other stories" in its title was being given a special mention, what a boost this would be!

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My very short story, When You're Frightened, Honey, Think of Strawberries has just gone live over at Ink, Sweat and Tears - click here to read it.

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Victorian humour is something of an acquired taste. I trawled through an awful lot of “jokes” that I didn’t get, that were plain unfunny, or that would be offensive to modern readers. Below are a selection of the funniest – yes, the funniest, so you can imagine how bad the rest were...

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Nathan Bransford is a literary agent at the San Francisco office of Curtis Brown Ltd. He is also a blogger extraordinaire - see for yourselves here!

You really must read…
Any book by my clients and GENTLEMEN OF SPACE by Ira Sher

Favourite desktop snack…
Reese’s Pieces.

Which 3 writers, living or dead, would you invite to dinner?
Ernest Hemingway, Paul (from the Bible), and Walker Percy. We’d either get really drunk or all get in a fight. Or maybe both.

Left on a cliffhanger or told all?
Depends on whether the next book is under contract.



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I was chatting with, writer and co-founder of the literary consultants BubbleCow, Gary Smailes after the launch of 20 Photographs and 20 Stories, about writing and publishing and stuff. And we decided it would be a fun and good idea to do it properly.

So, here's what Gary had to say about publishing, how the industry's changing, how writers can become more empowered and about how he can help.

me: So, BubbleCow. What is it? What do you do there?

Gary Smailes: BubbleCow is a literary consultancy. In essence we help writers to lift their work to a commercial standard. We do this in one of three ways. The first is through editorial feedback. One of our professional editors will provide in-depth and detailed feedback on a writer’s work. The second is through mentoring. This sees a writer working alongside a published author over a period of time. The aim is to not only gain editorial support but to also get constant help regarding the writing process. Finally we offer submission support. Here one of our editors will work alongside a writer to help them produce a synopsis, query letter and fifty page extract of the highest quality. Because BubbleCow is an Internet based company we are able to provide the fastest and most cost effective service on the market.

me: So you cover all the bases! Do you cater for all sorts of writers and abilities - and genres? Or do you have an area that you specialise in?

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Why anybody would want to go to Spain when they can go to Regent Street beats me. Well, that's not quite true, but Spain's major attraction was overshadowed, so to speak, on Sunday. How pleasant to be in a Regent Street rendered not only traffic-free for the event, but basking in sunlight.



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