Lordy, but it's bloody hot today. And I am personally so damn hot that I may well explode at any moment. Be prepared for fires in Godalming for sure. That'll be me. Hmm, as you can tell, I am officially Not Good in the Heat. Actually, I'm not good in any extreme weather, but heat is my least favourite. I think. This is the real setback of living in a top floor flat which is to all intents and purposes nothing but roofspace. It's sweltering in summer and freezing in winter. No matter what we do. Currently, we are keeping the portable fan on all night, just in order to be cool enough to sleep. Sadly this doesn't work during the day as Lord H and I are usually in different rooms. Hmm, perhaps it's time for another fan? Now that would be radical ...


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Managed to watch our video of the John Barrowman programme, "The Making of Me", last night. Which was all to do with trying to find out exactly how gay JB is. Great fun on the whole! And we are now all looking at our finger lengths and working out how many older brothers we have between us in order to see how gay we are. Or did I miss the point somewhat? Anyway, as Lord H and I have a job-lot of five older brothers, plus one younger brother (hello, Lord B-I-L!), then we are probably gayer than the great JB by far. Though Lord H is able to navigate without having to turn the map upside-down, you'll be pleased to hear. That said, we are distinctly not talking about my bent middle finger - per hand. Lord alone knows what that says about me ...


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Okey-doke, this is my version of Charlotte the Duck's original post, based on the mockduck model. I've adapted it slightly to cover a greater period of time because I'm something of a slow learner.

Things I've learnt over a lot of years

Char says: Acceptance is the key to peace of mind.
I say: Acceptance is probably the key to peace of mind but not always very easy to achieve.

Char says: The only thing you can change is yourself.
I say: You can change other people, but usually only with the help of drugs and/or other mind-altering substances.

Char says: Love isn't all you need.
I say: No, money is helpful too. Big wads of it, ideally.

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Whenever I send a manuscript to a publisher or agent, I always send it recorded and enclose an SAE for return. That return can be within the week, or a month afterwards. My question is this. If one hears nothing from a recipient for 3 or 4 weeks, despite sending an SAE, what can be interpreted from that? Is it being appraised by a 'slush' reader? Is it sitting in a pile waiting for attention? Has it been lost in the post? If the publisher thinks it is any good, does one hear fairly soon or can it take months for a positive response?

The reason I ask is that I sent a manuscript to a publisher who was recommended to me by more than one source - as the material was perceived to be 'right up their street'. I know they have received it (four weeks ago) but I have heard nothing. Having not had the SAE returned I can't tell if that is a positive sign or not. I daren't ring them to find out, in case it is considered bad form to do so. So, do I shrug it off and consider it a no show, or do I risk bridling a publisher who may be weighing the book in the balance?

I know the blog's hungry by now - what with the diet it was on last week, and all - and normally I'd have fed it this morning. Unfortunately, the editorial report I thought would be finished by now, is not.

Picture last Thursday, bearing in mind that editorial reports are almost the only writing-related work I can do away from the computer:

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Played golf with Marian this morning, and did okay, though my score was up and down to say the least. Some rebellion on the part of my balls as well (as it were) - I usually play with my special lady balls (no, don't go there ...) on the pond hole (Lordy, that's even worse but hey let's carry on as if we're all part of the Empire anyway. Bulldog spirit and all that.) in order to give myself the best chance of getting across, but I usually end up in the sink. Today, I decide to play clever, and use the grotty, difficult ball I picked up somewhere in the hope that I'll lose it. No chance, missus. The damn thing sails over and lands on the green. Sigh ... whilst rejoicing of course. I shall never be able to get rid of it now. Ah well ...


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This is interesting. Very interesting, actually. Perhaps even a revelation. There I was the other day, sitting with my laptop in a nearby cafe. I had the beginnings of a flash story in my head and was determined to get it down. Now, I have been trying for months to wean myself of the highly addictive Scrabulous (online Scrabble for Facebook users), with little success. In fact, I am playing a game now as I write this blog post. So, on Wednesday, even though I had opened my word processor and was beginning my story, I couldn't stop myself from starting a new Scrabulous game, even though I felt very guilty about it and angry at myself that I had so little self control. But I did it anyway....

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....i've got a new blog on the go; an autobiography...


How many Black Jacks can you get in your mouth, and how much chewing-gum is enough?

- We had to take it out to suck off the extra juice!

How cold was your bathroom?

- In winter my brother only washed his cheeks, using two fingers on each hand. When the dirt on his neck became visible my father would take him in for a good scrub then the neck would sparkle pinkly.


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Six months ago I went into Borders on Charing Cross Road to see which authors my book would nestle between on the shelves. But after a few seconds in the sci-fi section I was red and sweating with embarrassment and I fled out of the shop and into Soho and relieved my trembling with liquor.

Today though, I am wearing one of five ‘Christopher Hardy – King of Sci-fi’ T-shirts that I had a local printing shop knock up. In about thirty seconds from the look of them. But the point is made; a very childish, unfocused point vaguely taking the piss out of Harper Collins for pigeon-holing me into a genre, but a point nonetheless. Unfortunately it’s a joke that about five people on Earth might understand.

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