My mention of steak knives in my last post obviously touched a nerve (I realise that's a slightly nervous-making metaphor, but never mind) so, in conversation with a few of my fellows, I've been rounding up the most annoying things we get asked, with suggested answers. Alternative answers gratefully received, and any other questions too. (And you'll find I'm experimenting with dropping the funny-word-verification-thingy. If I get bored with deleting spam comments, I'll have to put it back)

Top Five questions that drive aspiring writers mad:

Q: Hoping to be the next JKR, eh? A: Well, I wouldn't mind her money, but I hope I write better than she does.

Q: Isn't it only celebrities who get published these days? A: No. Look at the debut novel prizelists: not a celebrity in sight.

Q: What makes you think you'll ever be successful?

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Got to work today and found out our office computers weren’t working. So not much else I could do whilst IT got it sorted apart from some much-needed tidying and rationalisation (now there’s a working day word if I ever heard one) of my desk and in-tray. My, I feel totally cleansed now. Like a new woman. Which should surprise Lord H tonight if it were true, I must say.

However, all things were restored by mid-morning, so I have chased everyone under the sun about the frighteningly close first round of Freshers’ events. And some (oh thank you, thank you!) blessed people are even beginning to reply, hurrah. With information too. Good Lord ...


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I must first of all say I ended up watching the Spielberg film, Artificial Intelligence, last night. What a load of drivel! Though the zappier parts with Jude Law in it in the middle were quite fun. On the whole, it was a rather typical Spielberg overschmalz and it would have been much better if the wretched little boy and his irritating super-teddy could have been killed at the beginning. Now that would have been interesting for sure, but in the meantime somebody pass me the vomit bucket, groan ...


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Autumn does seem to have arrived, doesn't it? And it's not just the weather and the plum jam-and-crumpets; across the aspiring writer world, the first thing that's asked once the sand's been shaken out of the beach towels, and the piles of posts combed for those dishearteningly fat SAEs, is, 'Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year?

NaNoWriMo, for the unintiated, is National Novel Writing Month. The idea is that those who sign up spend November writing, furiously, towards the standard goal of a 50,000 word novel. The website makes no bones about the focus of the whole thing: "the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality." The website also has busy, supportive forums, places to track and/or post your wordcount, and post some or all of your novel. In NaNoWriMo's home, the US, there's even schools-based Young Writers programme. On November 3rd a great many aspiring writers decide it's not for them, but at midnight on November 30th, a great many other, baggy-eyed, hysterical, triumphant NaNo-ers bow their heads to the smoking keyboard, listen to the shrieks going up from the forums, and wait to receive a downloadable certificate of achievement.

And, as Autumn follows Summer, if there's a slow news day on the literary pages, a journalist will ring up a big-name agent or publisher or author or six, and say, 'Can you write a good novel in a month?'

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In spite of the rain and the wind (typical August weather indeed), Lord H and I opted for a day's birdwatching in ... um ... Beachy Head today. Goodness me, yes, it was windy, very windy. And there weren't that many people about, at least in the morning - surprise, surprise ... Only mad dogs and Englishman go to Beachy Head in near blizzard conditions, you know.

But, my goodness, it was wonderfully dramatic - which made up for it all ...


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I have performed my Daughterly Duty today as Lord H and I have spent the day at Mother's. To prepare for this momentous occasion, I took two calming pills and one Vitamin B De-Stress pill with breakfast. Good to have a healthy diet, you know. Much to our astonishment, the journey there was almost entirely clear of traffic and even the A12 (Gawd bless it) had moving cars on it. Well, miracles can still occur then - but it does make me wonder where the hell everyone actually was. Have they gone abroad or are they staying in to watch the Olympics? It's a mystery. Anyway, as a result we arrived earlier than usual, and poor Mother was still donning her Difficult Daughter armour in order to get through her day. We might have been even earlier, but when we were parking outside the house, Lord H and I had a five minute discussion as to whether we could get away with peeking in at the window and then leaving a note saying "sorry but you were out" before making good our escape. Ah, dream on, eh ...


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Oonahverse is regularly updated with links to my work as they come up.

I also use the site to talk about what I write and sometimes about me...but I'm not that interesting, really. My work is, I hope.

Please feel free to browse past entries and make a comment.

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I’ve been thinking on the positive wavelength for a couple of months now, more fiercely since I watched the movie The Secret – and it’s working; I am attracting all sorts of great stuff to me! People I hardly know are offering me things; two lovely women who have recently started work beside me have offered furniture, a microwave, coffee-maker – one has presented me with beautiful baking trays, signed by Antony Worrall Thompson himself! Before that another workmate brought me in shoes that she couldn’t wear, then a lovely blouse and then a pair of lined curtains for my new flat!


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Fluffed about like madwoman on the computer today, doing anything but write. So didn't manage to look at Hallsfoot's Battle (see full post for links) before a brief Sainsbury's shop and golf. Which today proved a bit of a rollercoaster - I played some spectacularly bad shots which resulted in not one, but two lost balls. Two! Ye gods and little fishes, it's lucky I've got any to play with at all. I foresee the first item on my Christmas list for sure ...

Still, to counteract all that, I parred the third beautifully with a totally top-class chip in from way, way off the green. There was that wonderful moment when I watched it and thought: Yes, that's pretty damned close ...


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These past two weeks have just flown by. I've made considerable headway with the group anthology (up till 11:30 the other night doing it while my beloved was visiting her sis in the Big Smoke) so that's nearly done, had a small commission, which is done, and now I'm working on a poem, which is nearly done. Not bad going, I'd say.

I've also been dipping into Willful Creatures, a collection of short stories by Aimee Bender, which so far has been mind-meltingly good. The stories are deliciously surreal and are written, well, just brilliantly as far as I'm concerned.


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