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What Goes Around...
Posted: 29 May 2005 Word Count: 70
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Against the odds, here I am. Still standing, still breathing, relishing the moment. Rumours of my fall, it seems, were prematurely chorused - unfounded malice spun from the thread of Judgement.
Irony runs rings around you now - lapping your conceit, it smirks and waves. The stench of downfall fills the air as I sit on the sidelines with companionable Dignity.
No self-fulfilling prophecy, I; patient silence is my virtue.
Comments by other Members
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joanie at 11:02 on 30 May 2005
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Hi Bobo. I love the quiet confidence in this and the personification of Judgement, Irony and Dignity.
I can see the wry smile on the writer's face; there's a lot of wisdom in the closing line.
joanie
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engldolph at 08:14 on 07 June 2005
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Hi Bobo,
Full of drama and intrigue this one.
Reminded me of one of Shakespeare's tragedies, like Julian Ceaser ... plots and reprisals..
really liked:
Irony runs rings around you now -
lapping your conceit,
the second stanza seemed tighter formed than the first which I might tinker a little with..
enjoyed
Mike
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Bobo at 09:19 on 11 June 2005
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Hi Mike - thanks for that. Yes, I agree the 1st stanza needs a little tightening and I'll revisit it at a later point. Glad you enjoyed my little poem of smugness! ;)
Thanks also for your comments Joanie - relieved the personification worked for you - I had second thoughts about it when I wrote it, but am now glad I left that element.
BoBo :)
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lieslj at 07:05 on 01 September 2005
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Hello Bobo, I realise this is late in the day, but I hope not too late to be of some constructive benefit.
I really struggled to read this as a personification of smugness.
Perhaps if the title made it clearer upfront, the connection could be established sooner, for example, 'Smugness Comes to Call' or 'Notes from Smug'. I'm floundering really.
It seemed to me that a person who had been hard done by was revelling in some justice that wasn't apparent.
I guess I'm also curious about your intention. It isn't clear what you hope to achieve with this.
I'd be interested to see where it leads.
Regards
Liesl
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