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Streetlights
Posted: 15 July 2003
Word Count: 12
Summary: A near haiku.
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Sitting at my window,
I watch streetlights
Sew earth and sky together.
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Comments by other Members
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 Hilary Custance at 14:26 on 15 July 2003
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A truly delightful image. It allows so much leeway too, as you can take it in the active sense of watching the light waning and the streetlights coming on and individually stitching the ground to the edgeless darkness above. Or you can have it a single visual moment seen from a distance.
I don't know enough about the form to know if it is technically a near, or an achieved, Haiku, but I have read very many and this has that concentration of image and simplicity of language that I associate with some of the best. Cheers, Hilary
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poemsgalore at 18:50 on 15 July 2003
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A wonderful image, "Sew earth and sky together." and very close to the Haiku form, which is 7,5,7 (syllables that is) with the last line summing up the first and second.
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LONGJON at 03:23 on 16 July 2003
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Hello,
Hilary,
That is such a generous comment, thank you. The poem came from looking out my small office window (upstairs) at home, at a road that runs along a ridge about half a mile away, just as dusk fell about a week ago. The streetlights stood just above the line of roofs and looked just like stitches as they came on.
poemsgalore,
Thankyou very much for you comment, I haven't done a great deal with Haiku but the more I read of them, the more interesting the style becomes.
Take care,
John P.
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olebut at 07:38 on 16 July 2003
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John
The sad truth of course is that in many places the street lights have ruined the night sky but I am sure over there in the wilds of New Zealand the odd gas lamp ( or are they stll oil powered) has that qualint and emotive effect.#
Seriously though I enjoyed the poem and the image they give
take care
olebut
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Agnieszka Ryk at 12:03 on 16 July 2003
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I concur with the others - a lovely image. To me the first line is perhaps a little bland - perhaps there could be something a little more evocative here. In fact, your comment has it:
Along the ridge
I watch streetlights
Sew earth and sky together.
Just a thought - hope I'm not being intrusive!
a
x
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LONGJON at 12:40 on 16 July 2003
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Now,now David, this is New Zealand, remember. Don't tell Greenpeace but we actually have people going round at night and sticking litle lumps of whale blubber up on poles. Stinks to high heaven but not a bad light!
Take care,
John P.
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LONGJON at 12:47 on 16 July 2003
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Agnieszka,
Thankyou for your delightful comment - nice to get a friendly one after the predictably rude observation on the standard of public utilities in New Zealand from Mr Olebut (first cousin to an 'alibut I think). I'm not surprised, he spent five years at Woolverstone Hall after all, I mean what else would you expect !
The alternative version is lovely, I think I shall convert this into the first ever interactive haiku, make it multi choice in keeping with current educational principles.
Do take care,
John P.
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olebut at 19:09 on 16 July 2003
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now olebut
I the following words come to mind as a response
The orange glow of progress
dims the sparkle of creation
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