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Birdwatching in the city

by shandypockets 

Posted: 24 May 2005
Word Count: 11
Summary: A flying visit
Related Works: On a delicate morning • 
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Grey city seagulls
Cross sky like flapping litter
Tattered, clumsy m's







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Comments by other Members



joanie at 15:21 on 24 May 2005  Report this post
Hi, SP. This is an excellent haiku, although the seagulls I know are sleek and smooth; I'm not sure about clumsy. I like the sounds of 'flapping' and 'tattered', which gives a good image of the scavengers.

Nice one.

joanie
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Nik Perring at 22:51 on 24 May 2005  Report this post
Hi SP,
love the flying litter line.
Good stuff.
Cheers,
Nik.
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Ticonderoga at 13:56 on 25 May 2005  Report this post
Perfect! That's exactly the description.


Best,


mike
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laurafraser at 15:11 on 25 May 2005  Report this post
What a onderful image. And what a spectacular way of putting it.

Laura.
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Beanie Baby at 12:07 on 26 May 2005  Report this post
Made me feel all the wind. Love "Tattered, Clumsy 'M's"
Beanie
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lieslj at 06:32 on 05 June 2005  Report this post
Hello SP,

I could identify with those birds, just wondered if an uppercase M wouldn't be clearer. Just a thought...

Liesl
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