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Back to The City

by The Walrus 

Posted: 22 May 2005
Word Count: 205


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Let me hide awhile behind halcyon moments
before I contemplate my re-emergence
from some obstreperous creation
into something more palatable for easy digestion.

Let me escape awhile into tangential forays
before the corporate devil spawns
yet another black-besuited beetle
scuttling insanely around its concrete jungle.

Let me drift, gentle, wild and free
shriek with delight, weep unrestrained
over joys as well as pain
before handing over the keys
to my freedom, expression and sanity.

Let me breathe and dance and sing...
just be that wild thing
before donning the implacable mask
androgenousely walking, talking,
sharp, hard and fast.

Let me hope that The City has changed...
but, if my hope is a snowman in the rain
then I will bring with me the wildness of the country
and while I assume the crust of respectibility
I will remember the wind stealing my breath
hair whipping my face,
rain saturating my skin.

I will bring country to town and with it,
everything that is clean, simple and good
and while I deliberately tread the hot tarmac
with aching heels and an empty heart
I will remember how the grass feels
I will remember how the air tastes
I will remember for as long as it takes.






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Comments by other Members



joanie at 07:06 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Hi Christina. I enjoyed reading this. I live in the country and have always thought that I would love to live in a city, at least for a few years. Now I'm not sure!

I love the opening lines of each stanza and the part rhymes: creation/digestion, mask/fast, beetle/ jungle, etc.

I like the determination of the last stanza. Should it be 'as long as ....'?

A good one. I shall return and read again.

joanie

The Walrus at 08:58 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Hi Joanie, thanks for reading. I think you're probably right about the last line, thanks will change!

Christina

<Added>

Hmmm, reading back your comment Joanie, not sure if you meant drop the last few words or you were suggesting something else?!

joanie at 09:01 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Just that you had written 'as along as'... typo??

joanie

<Added>

nothing structural!!

The Walrus at 09:50 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Lol, ohmygod - I have completely lost it Joanie. Of course! Silly me. Actually tho, still think it reads better with last few words taken out! Thanks again!

Christina

Tina at 11:14 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Hi

I really enjoyed this too - some great images and ideas that flow with speed like the rush of the city.

The emphasis is very heavily on city images though and the country only gets a sneak preview in the penultimate verse.

I will remember the wind stealing my breath
hair whipping my face,
rain saturating my skin

perhaps a little more of what you are longing for - tentatively given would make this really good poem even better.

With thanks
Tina


The Walrus at 12:01 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Tina, thanks, your suggestion certainly makes sense! Would make it more balanced. Will take another look at it.

Christina

Ticonderoga at 14:52 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
Love the mixture of sadness and resolutin. This is a very fine poem , W, and would make an excellent anthology piece - 101 Poems To Make The Office Bearable, or some such!


Best,


Mike

<Added>

'resolution', perhaps? Doh!

Chem at 18:28 on 23 May 2005  Report this post
A brilliant poem Bob, very well expressed - I would be feeling exactly the same!
Your city will be better this time round because it has you back in it with the wildness and beauty of the countryside and the memory of your days there.
Loved it.
Em

The Walrus at 09:05 on 24 May 2005  Report this post
Thanks Mike, resolution and sadness definitely. Thanks Em, didn't ever see myself returning to the city but since I am hope you're right - don't want to morph into some corporate automatan!

Comments appreciated.

Christina

Bobo at 09:52 on 30 May 2005  Report this post
Hey Walrus

Great piece - full of the conflict of self and what one is to 'be'. I guess we all conform to some degree, but to be able to shape our surroundings is a capacity often neglected for convenience / laziness' sake. If we can learn and grow, and influence that around us accordingly, then the battle is won.

I particularly liked:

'then I will bring with me the wildness of the country
and while I assume the appearance of respectibility
I will remember the wind stealing my breath
hair whipping my face,
rain saturating my skin.'

...though I thought perhaps 'the wild of the country' would be more powerful than 'the wildness' as it could then mean that you are now 'the wild', as opposed to the tamed city gal...but just a thought.

Great stuff.

BoBo :)

Lawrenco at 23:05 on 31 May 2005  Report this post
Hi Red, . Enjoyed the political snipets that came through. "The corporate Devils spawn", Assuming the appearance of respectibility.
An altogether thought provoking piece.


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