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Nothing Lasts Forever

by Ambitions of Lisa 

Posted: 18 May 2005
Word Count: 81


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Beautiful vessel
He once captained her
Proud to steer her
Ploughing through
Calm waters
Riding the waves
Her destiny in his hands
Surviving storms
For a while, but
Thrash after thrash
She weathered
Sadness overcame him
Knowing he couldn’t
Keep her forever
He had sailed with her
As far as he could go
Slowly, he tore himself
Away, let her drift
Lacking the love of her captain,
She sank, a dreary vision
Of what once was
She lived in his memory







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Comments by other Members



joanie at 17:45 on 18 May 2005  Report this post
Hi Lisa. I enjoyed reading this aloud. I love the form and the line length. I am getting mixed feelings about the subject matter. At first I thought that the ending would be that 'she' would sail alone, finally independent of the 'captain'. I'm a bit disappointed that she sank. Perhaps it's the feminist in me which I didn't know existed!

I really did enjoy the read.

joanie

hailfabio at 18:50 on 18 May 2005  Report this post
Classic Lis! Very emotional.

Stephen

hailfabio at 18:50 on 18 May 2005  Report this post
Classic Lis! Very emotional.

Stephen

James Graham at 13:02 on 19 May 2005  Report this post
There's something touching about this, like a folk-tale or a children's story - 'Once upon a time there was a mariner...' There could be a story in it - the solitary mariner is a young prince who has been disinherited by his wicked father the King; his adventures are a bit like Gulliver's, he meets strange beings on remote islands; but at last he has 'sailed with her as far as he could go' and lets his boat drift. But like Joanie I wish the boat would drift away out of sight, a free spirit!

James.

Tina at 13:29 on 19 May 2005  Report this post
Hi

This is an intriguing piece packed with all kinds of meaning like the best folk and fairy tales.

Beautiful vessel
He once captained her

He had sailed with her
As far as he could go

Kind of Angela Carter but not prose

Lovely mystical feel to it - unwinds like a reel - relationships journey fitted into such short lines

Lovely

Thanks
T

Ambitions of Lisa at 14:20 on 19 May 2005  Report this post
Thanks Joanie, Stephen, James and Tina...

I think I was feeling slightly emotional when I wrote this piece, and looking back I think I agree with the more positive, "drifitng away" option rather than the "sinking" one for the ending.

But yes... I like the overall feel I got from this one :)

Lis



Ticonderoga at 14:34 on 19 May 2005  Report this post
Long live metaphor! Excellent. The imagery resounds. Very moving.


Love & Mercy,

Mike




R-Poet at 15:54 on 20 May 2005  Report this post
I also enjoyed this, especially the minimalist approach to line length.

Steve



Ambitions of Lisa at 16:23 on 20 May 2005  Report this post
Thanks Mike and Steve

Lis
x

engldolph at 18:14 on 29 May 2005  Report this post
Hi Lisa,

I liked the feel of this too..on the level of a mariner's story...it flows really well and has a touching feel to it... for me it captures well the journey of a man and an object that he loves (a boat, a car) but doesn't work so well as a metaphor for a relationship if that's where you were headed with this...

enjoyed
Mike


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