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Expectations
Posted: 12 July 2003
Word Count: 15
Summary: Kind of Haiku but ignoring the rule regarding the number of syllables.
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i ask for nothing
You give me what i ask for
i am never disappointed
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Comments by other Members
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 Lisa at 12:55 on 12 July 2003
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Stephen -
Perfect.
Only query is capital letter at beginning of second line but no punctation before it, but no capital letters elswhere. But that's just technical stuff. I like it all written in lower case - perhaps you wrote it in Word and it automaticaaly added a capital letter!? (I haven't worked out how to turn that function off on my computer yet!)
But I think this is great - very dry. Very succinct.
Love it.
Lisa
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llydstp at 13:59 on 14 July 2003
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Lisa
Thank you for your kind comments, I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
The capital Y in 'You' is intentional: I was trying to show the dominance of the person who is the 'You' in the poem over me represented by 'i'.
Does this make sense?
Steve
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pene at 16:26 on 17 July 2003
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Hi Steve the capital Y makes sense to me and I really liked this! I love very succinct pieces (maybe because I dont have a very long concentration span?)
well done
Best wishes Pene
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Ioannou at 19:54 on 17 July 2003
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Agree with Pene, the Y makes sense and the bitterness is explicit because of it. Nice stuff. Love, Maria.
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LONGJON at 05:36 on 19 July 2003
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Hi Steve,
Just shows that haiku isn't solely about dewdrops, butterflies and sunsets.Well done.
John P.
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Lisa at 23:43 on 19 July 2003
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I see - the "You" and "i" thing. Very interesting - adds a new dimension to the piece.
Cheers.
Lisa
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fevvers at 22:43 on 30 July 2003
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And also ignoring the rules about the presence of the writer and the seasonal references hmmm... this is more senryu than haiku
I enjoyed it, very wry.
Cheers
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roger at 19:47 on 21 August 2003
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Hi Steve, just spotted this in the 'randon selection' section. I thought Haiku was a crappy Far Estern car, but if what you did is it, I like it, love it in fact. So Succinct, a lifetime of bitterness expressed in 15 words. If you were a bitter old sod, I'd say 'fair enough', but you're not, you're happy, which makes this all the more clever.
Brilliant, impressive stuff.
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llydstp at 12:12 on 23 August 2003
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Roger
Thanks. I only wish I was happy, it's just that I'm good at pretending to be OK.
It's great that you liked these 15 words - for once I was quite pleased with them.
Take care.
Bitter old sod masquerading as happy git.
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Ralph at 12:36 on 23 August 2003
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Steve, this has the empowering quality of a mantra somehow. It touches something very deep, and acts as a reminder as well as an emotive piece of writing. It's absolutely superb. Thanks for posting this
Huggs
Ralph
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llydstp at 12:41 on 23 August 2003
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Ralph
Thank you, you are very generous with your comments.
Take care
Steve
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