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Heavy
Posted: 05 May 2005
Word Count: 27
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Silent daggers stab the air;
indifference hangs, a concrete block
on memories of past summers' madness,
while the anniversary card on the mantlepiece
reads 'All my love'.
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Comments by other Members
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 Elsie at 23:29 on 05 May 2005
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Joanie - how true. "All my love" is all you can say when it's like that..
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 Ticonderoga at 14:29 on 06 May 2005
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Ouch! I unfortunately know this feeling only too well. Painfully and beautifully captured.
Best,
Mike
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Tina at 18:32 on 06 May 2005
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How sad that sometimes humans are so poor at relationships - get a cat or better still a dog!
Lovely writing Joanie
thanks
T
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Okkervil at 20:22 on 10 May 2005
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'Indifference hangs, a concrete block' be an ironic little line of excellence, which is nice, 'cos the entire piece is thusly short and strong.
I just thought that the 'silent daggers stabbing' was maybe a little active and out-of-place for what seems a sadly passive, inevitable piece. D'you know what I mean? Maybe there's a different line t'kick it off- a card in the mail is detatched, memories are distant and the barrier is impenetrable, but the act of stabbing is rather more personal and frenzied... Maybe that's the idea actually. Oh. Slice and dice this comment for the bits you need, then. Regardless, 'tis a fine little piece!
Bye!
James
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Beanie Baby at 09:00 on 29 January 2009
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This is beautifully articulated in all its painful clarity - well worth a random read.
Beanie
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 joanie at 17:22 on 29 January 2009
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Thanks, Beanie. I'm glad you spotted this, almost four years on!
joanie
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