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Strength
Posted: 03 May 2005
Word Count: 69
Summary: Funny sort of philosophical bit about being strong. Not sure of the structure.
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True strength is
balance, control and direction.
Not just physical strength,
also mental strength.
I see packed out gyms,
full of weak people
trying to improve themselves.
You can seem to be very strong
when in a strong position,
but being strong in a position of weakness
is a true indication of strength.
Work on your weaknesses
to make yourself stronger.
Work on your strengths
to make yourself weaker.
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Comments by other Members
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 Ticonderoga at 14:44 on 03 May 2005
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I have a friend who, for a year now, has been re-educating mind and body with basho (I think that's right), and this exactly sums up what he's been saying to me. I'd remove 'either' from the 2nd line. Keep scribbling!
Best,
Mike
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hailfabio at 14:49 on 03 May 2005
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Yes, I agree, the 'either' will go.
I do a lot of strength training and have been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of things have come to light.
Of course, as it says. It's not just about physical strength.
Stephen
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 James Graham at 15:19 on 04 May 2005
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Hi Stephen. Basically the form of this is ok, I think. It has some of the force of epigrams or proverbs. What it says, especially in the most challenging line (the last), is worth saying. The sentence beginning 'Sure you can seem to be strong...' seems a bit too long-winded. Here's a slightly cut version:
| You can seem to be very strong when in a strong position, but being strong in a position of weakness is a true indication of strength. |
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I think it makes quite a resounding sentence now. You don't really need 'Sure' or 'and vulnerability'. The unrelenting repetition of 'strength' and 'weakness' throughout is effective, but an extra word like 'vulnerability' (though it's not quite the same thing as weakness) dissipates the effect a little. I wondered if you need to put this sentence somehow into stricter verse lines, but no - a prose statement works better, in contrast with the verse lines at the beginning and end.
A sentence in your comment has potential!
I do a lot of strength training
and a lot of thinking, and a lot
of things have come to light. |
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James.
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hailfabio at 16:57 on 04 May 2005
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Thanks James,
I agree with all your comments. And I will revise that line, it is stronger line without 'sure' and 'vunerability', pardon the pun.
I'm glad you pointed that out about my comment. A nice little haiku there.
Stephen
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