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A warm, comfortable, natural thing

by Flashy 

Posted: 03 May 2005
Word Count: 587
Summary: A Dream


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One night whilst I was sleeping, far away, infinite in dreaming, a warm, comfortable, natural thing tiptoed gently into my thoughts and captured me. Coming to me in the form of a woman who was the very likeness of you.

And in this vision…

You came and sat down, side on upon my knee and faced me, linked your hands behind me and held me, and I did the same with my arms around you.

Ever so gently smiling, you looked deeply into my eyes and I, in turn, looked deeply into you. And within this infinitesimal, this tiny moment there was no fear; no concern or heightened tension… for this was a warm, comfortable, natural thing.

Nothing was said but everything that needed to be…was understood in the affectionate bond between our smiling contented eyes.

I was your boy and you were my girl, this was the message our eyes conveyed…you knew the absolute all of me and I indeed knew all of you, nothing could be hidden, no secrets concealed and all we ever had or would have was to be revealed.

And this was the first time I accepted, believed that there was such a thing…a warm, comfortable, natural, thing.

But before…

Even though I had heard of I scorned at the myth of a warm, comfortable, natural thing. Yes the rumours did persist but I in turn was too stubborn, i had to insist that warm, comfortable, natural things did not, could not exist…still though for some reason my defences were ready, prepared for something to resist.

Tonight for a moment I wondered why…

For with this warm, comfortable, natural thing, it is I found in the dream made up of many other different kinds of things, like...

A sleeping head lying in the deft between a neck and shoulder
A truly honest overjoyed laugh turning into a cheeky endearing giggle.
Two running like mad young things in a deluge of torrential rain.
A soft lullaby sung to a first-born.
A turn of a head and then a concerned smiling glance as she walks away.
A photograph of a particular someone, radiantly happy by a tranquil blue lake.
Familiar scents of perfumes drifting across an empty room.
The thought that two could be inseparable.

This warm, comfortable, natural thing suddenly becomes such a wonderful, soft and lovely thing, and for a while it sweeps away all of our negative demons, hatred, jealousy, disdain, and greed.

Ah! But I had forgotten this was just a dream…

It was suddenly then I awoke in heavy darkness to my neighbours arguing and screaming… and it seems that not everyone gets the chance to have a warm, comfortable, natural thing.

As I lay listening, thinking… Did they ever believe, were they still looking, were they still dreaming, could they even know that such a thing could exist?

So…

Perhaps better for them not to know that it does, for in truth even though it does exist, there is not nearly enough to go around for everyone, so better for them not to seek it, believe it or dream it.

I had remembered my reason for resisting…

And one night whilst I was sleeping, far away, infinite in dreaming, a warm, comfortable, natural thing tiptoed gently into my thoughts and captured me. Coming to me in the form of a woman who was the very likeness of you.

And when I awoke… there were people arguing and screaming, and you were not if indeed you ever were… there.






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Comments by other Members



Nell at 17:05 on 04 May 2005  Report this post
Hi Flashy,

I enjoyed the conversational tone of this, the repetition of the title. It's a strangely circular little flash, gentle and poetic in places, although once or twice I felt you were brushing against clichés, and you could look again at those places where you've used more than one adjective (apart from the repetition of the title) to see if you really need them all. I loved the end; it felt nicely realistic and stopped the story from being too cosy. A few small points below.

(Even though I had heard of )I scorned at the myth ... If you lost the words in brackets the sentence would be grammatically improved.

...i had to insist that warm...

A sleeping head lying in the deft between a neck and shoulder... (cleft?)

...and you were not if indeed you ever were… there... (comma needed after 'not')

Nell.


Flashy at 18:07 on 04 May 2005  Report this post
Blimey, i better get down to making some of the amendments you guys have been suggesting.


Thanks for commenting Nell much appreciated.Surprised you liked the ending, i thought the latter half was weaker than the first part.


Alan


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