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The Stag

by Milou 

Posted: 29 April 2005
Word Count: 572
Summary: For the week 44 challenge.


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The stag's voice was muffled because as it spoke it dipped its head so its velvet muzzle touched the mossy floor. William couldn't hear what it said. There was a buzzing in the clearing, or in his head, he wasn't sure which.

When it spoke again, the buzzing was coming from the stag's mouth and formed words.
"There's been an accident."
It sounded like a hive of bees chanting, and made William's head hurt. He closed his eyes against the bright sun, but the silhouette of the stag looking down at him stayed. He opened them again. The stag looked shocked at the absence of a response to its statement, and the voice buzzed.
"There's been an accident."
William wasn't sure what the stag meant, so he kept quiet. Sideways through the grass from where he lay he could see the shaft of his bow on the ground by him, and he had an idea suddenly that the accident had involved an arrow.
Irritatingly, the stag was speaking again.
"Henry."
William was surprised. The stag would have to know his younger brother well to address him in that way. Henry did not permit many to omit his title.
"Henry. Help me."
William wanted to turn his head away from the buzzing, but he also wanted to listen to the stag. There had been an accident, and someone had been hurt. He wondered distantly if it had been the stag. That had been their intention this day, after all. But it seemed unconcerned, and began to bite at the grass delicately. William closed his eyes and didn't notice if the stag stopped eating before it spoke again.
"Henry."
The stag's voice hurt his head and set his teeth on edge. Beyond its delicate hooves and the tangle where its antlers brushed the grass, he could see Henry standing at the edge of the clearing, his own bow slung over his shoulder. Before William could speak, the stag butted in.
"Help me Henry. The arrow."
William couldn't see an arrow. He didn't think either of them had managed to hit the stag. His aim had gone wide to the left and thwacked into a poplar tree. He hadn't seen where Henry's arrow had hit, although he had thought his brother aimed too wide as the stag had crashed through the bushes. That was strange, and unlike him. Henry rarely missed his mark.
Henry eventually answered the stag.
"Are you hurt, brother?"
The buzzing became a roar and the stag snapped its head up as it shouted.
"Help me!"
Crashing into movement it bounded from the clearing. William watched it go His brother was walking towards him, speaking through the buzzing which strangely was still loud even though the stag had gone.
"You are hurt. Let me help you."
William squinted to look down at his own chest. He was surprised to see a bright flag of blood there, hanging from the point where the arrow had entered. Henry was beside him now, and reached for the arrow, wrenching it from the clutch of William's breast bone. This seemed to release more than the gush of blood, for the buzzing was now a scream.
"Let me help you further, brother."
The scream did not abate even when Henry plunged the arrow back in, deeper than it seemed possible to go.

As he sank into the buzzing, William decided the stag had not spoken at all.






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Comments by other Members



bjlangley at 12:50 on 29 April 2005  Report this post
Woah Emily, this is freaky! I wondered what had happened, early on, to make William believe that he was speaking to a stag. I thought that maybe he had died or something, but then it emerged, Henry's betrayal, where his arrow had gone... very enjoyable.

All the best,

Ben

Account Closed at 14:52 on 29 April 2005  Report this post
Hi Milou,
I didn't understand that William was lying straight away and was confused by the stag looking down at him. I thought about William Tell when the arrows were mentioned and wondered who Henry was - what was his title? Couldn't imagine a stag looking shocked (but I could believe that it talked). Good ending and the whole story holds together well.

Elspeth

Jumbo at 22:17 on 29 April 2005  Report this post
milou

I enjoyed this, and the twist at the end - very cleverly concealed until the last sentence. And the act of Henry plunging the arrow back in, only adds to the intrigue of the piece.

I guess that William was shot on purpose. Is that right?

All the best

jumbo





Jubbly at 09:40 on 30 April 2005  Report this post
I thought William Tell too, very eerie and sad, a melancholy tale which I found very intriguing.

best

Jubbly

Dee at 10:14 on 30 April 2005  Report this post
Oh yes, Emily. I like this very much. This is brotherly love, royal style. Am I right? William II who died in hunting accident and was succeeded by his younger brother, Henry I?

Henry closed his eyes and didn't notice if the stag stopped eating before it spoke again.
Should be William?

Wonderfully atmospheric writing. Glad the stag got away!

Dee


Milou at 12:14 on 30 April 2005  Report this post
Thanks for the comments. That was the inspiration, Dee. Glad someone recognised it. (And thanks for pointing out the name mix up!)



crowspark at 21:47 on 03 May 2005  Report this post
Milou, this took my breath away. A wonderful confusion mimicking shock.
I guessed it was the king who was shot with an arrow "by mistake" but needed Dee to confirm it.
This sounds good, "He was surprised to see a bright flag of blood there, hanging from the point where the arrow had entered." but I was a little confused as to his position (other than dying of course). Was he slumped or lying on his back?

A powerful flash.

Bill



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