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Monsieur

by laurafraser 

Posted: 28 April 2005
Word Count: 193
Summary: Adapted from a poem I wrote earlier called Hermes and I.
Related Works: Hermes and I • 

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A million oceans swept past my door last night
As I shivered and called for Monsieur.
Remembering his mouth, his fingers and eyes
And the way I felt in his arms.

As if dancing on the moon with Thumbelina would make him see her
For the fairy that we knew she was,
With green snakes circled at her slim-ankled feet,
Their forked tongues wrapping like pale pink ivy
Around her diamond like toes.

In another place, smoke escapes from a room
Where nymphomaniac nuns say shush! and suck at a spliff,
As giggling they point to wart-encrusted toads, who burping and belching
Remind them of paralytic priests.

And these oceans that flow, continue to go
Forward and wide, galloping as they glide,
And then suddenly slow, it stops at a place I know:
The lilac bedspreads and the china dolls,
The bread in the oven and the dogs in the sun.

And I stumble as I walk, mumble as I talk,
Unsure and perhaps a little scared, of how my self has fared
Since I lost my Monsieur,
Remembering his mouth, his fingers and eyes
And the way I felt in his arms.








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Comments by other Members



joanie at 18:53 on 28 April 2005  Report this post
Hi laura! I enjoyed so much in this - I like the rhymes and especially 'And I stumble as I walk, mumble as I talk,
Unsure and perhaps a little scared, of how my self has fared'
.

I love repetition - no exception here with the last lines.

I think the opening is excellent; I wanted to read this! I like the varied images; I'm not going to copy them all!

I have re-read several times and I have enjoyed this.

joanie


The Walrus at 21:07 on 28 April 2005  Report this post
Extraordinary. Such phenomenal imagery fused with out-and-out irreverance and innate sensitivity.

Enjoyed, as always.

Christina

Beanie Baby at 22:05 on 28 April 2005  Report this post
Laura, this is much better - and that's not to say there was anything wrong with it last time. But I do think it flows better now and it gave me that little shiver of excitement as I read it. Love it! Love it! Love it!
Beanie xx

laurafraser at 09:14 on 29 April 2005  Report this post
Joanie, walrus and beanie thank-you for all of your very kind comments and so glad that you all like ths one!

Happy days,

Laura.

seanfarragher at 06:28 on 02 May 2005  Report this post
What a wonderful poem. Brilliant and visual I could feel every step of the seduction. You shine here my friend. It is a work of pleasure transformed into mysticism.


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