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(I WONDER IF THE GULL)

by TheGodfather 

Posted: 23 April 2005
Word Count: 107


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(I wonder if the gull) that habitually dances
along the shores of oceans
knows when it has landed on a lake.

In its buoyant feat
hers, it (must feel) that the soft ripples
are only wind-whipped,
no pull of the moon,
no ebb and swell for it to ride
to shore on white-capped chariots.
It must hate the dank, stag
nant waters and miss
the consistent salt-saturated
stirring.

But "Oh (the Rest)!"
It must enjoy the Quiet
as it Rests with other lost (found) gulls,
(in the Silence),
the Conversation,
the Calm,
the gentle Lapping
of the waves against its feat
hers(.)
It must enjoy it so.






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Comments by other Members



gard at 21:20 on 23 April 2005  Report this post
Hi Godfather do you mean "feat" or "feet"?

G

gard at 21:21 on 23 April 2005  Report this post
Whoops sorry I see you mean "feat" reading outloud got the meaning confused and does sound a bit strangg

G

roovacrag at 21:36 on 23 April 2005  Report this post
Goddy a truly good poem full of flight and one I enjoyed.
xx Alice

paul53 [for I am he] at 08:24 on 24 April 2005  Report this post
Godfather,
First off, I have to say I liked this poem and admired the obvious craft that went into it.
Having said that, I feel the way you laid out it detracts from the content rather than enhances it. One broken word and one obscure piece of punctuation could be intriguing, but too many distract the reader from the content, and poetry is about drawing the reader in - about holding their attention.
Paul

Mr B. at 12:07 on 03 June 2005  Report this post
It has the feeling of a spontaneous thought that's been deconstructed - as though at the beginning you had no idea where you'd be at the ending. I liked this!

Nice one,

Anthony


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