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On a delicate morning

by shandypockets 

Posted: 04 April 2005
Word Count: 14
Summary: The beginning of a new day brings remorse, the opportunity to contemplate breaking old patterns and a thirst for knowledge, not to mention water.
Related Works: Birdwatching in the city • 

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Strong morning headrush...
Room a harsh, blurred, spinning place.
I may still be drunk.

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Comments by other Members

Beanie Baby at 21:25 on 04 April 2005  Report this post
Hello Paul.
This made me smile - we've all been there! Nice to have you in the haiku and short poetry group. I've recently become the group host so if there's anything I can do, let me know. One little comment - this is more in line with Senryu as opposed to Haiku because, although the syllable pattern is the same - Haiku normally feature a reference to nature and the season, whereas Senryu, illustrate 'life in the fast lane' - usually with a touch of humour which this clearly has. Thank you for sharing.
Beanie Baby

jewelsx at 15:15 on 05 April 2005  Report this post
hangovers are hell!

i loved it,


Ticonderoga at 15:27 on 05 April 2005  Report this post
Been there; know how it feels; you captured it!!



shandypockets at 16:20 on 05 April 2005  Report this post
Thank you for the interesting distinction, there, Beanie. I have a feeling I may a Senryu boy. That's really good to know. Thanks all for the comments and the warm welcome. Paul

joanie at 22:29 on 05 April 2005  Report this post
I'll add my welcome, Paul! Nice Haiku/Senryu - whatever! Know what you mean!


lieslj at 06:41 on 09 April 2005  Report this post
A neatly observed sensation. Succinct and sore, all at the same time.

Well done.


Nik Perring at 22:25 on 09 April 2005  Report this post
Great piece. It really put a smile on my face. I know exactly what you mean! Empathy a plenty from this member!

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