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No one stays.

by Epona Love 

Posted: 31 March 2005
Word Count: 64
Summary: just a simple one... must add I am very much in love and happy... even though getting here was hell!

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No one stays.

Now remains
The chill of night,
The coldest light
Of darkest days.

Faint lingering
Of empty words,
Of hope incurred
When love waylays.

Strange whimpering
When pain takes hold,
When lost and cold
You turn away…

Alone again
You close your eyes,
You muffle cries
The heart betrays.

And what remains?
The chill of night.
The coldest light.
The darkest days.

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Comments by other Members

paul53 [for I am he] at 09:03 on 01 April 2005  Report this post
Glad you added the comment in the summary. This reads as a very well-constructed treatise on despair. A nice tight piece, conveying the stricture of ones emotions. You might find the punctuation largely unnecessary as the poems construction declares most of them.
You should be justly proud of this one.

Brian Aird at 09:06 on 04 April 2005  Report this post
The comment lifted me on this rainy morning!

I hope you never experienced royal love, whatever that is.


Hamburger Yogi & PBW at 07:13 on 10 April 2005  Report this post
The metre was very attractive in this poem and I get the feel of every word considered. It all fits. The emotional content to me was well modulated too.

gard at 23:59 on 19 April 2005  Report this post
Nice piece with a good rhythm (OK metre), good syllable flow.

could see this as a song...

Glad you are happy and in love!


jewelsx at 15:44 on 28 April 2005  Report this post
beautifully done

Mr B. at 12:11 on 03 June 2005  Report this post
Wonderful piece - I liked the simple elegance of ending back where the piece starts. The rhyme and rhythm were mesmeric. A nice, brooding piece!

Nice one,


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