This short scene takes place backstage of a small theatre. There is a large table, three chairs and a full body mirror, any extra props or furniture are peripheral to the scene. An '/' indicates where one line is interrupted by the following line.

Three men enter. EDWARD carries a large carrier bag, PETER a folder with clipboard and JOE is empty handed.

PETER It was an absolute farce, I'm not doing that again.

EDWARD You're right Peter, you're absolutely right. But I think this time we can move on from that, so long as we have a strong enough cast.

PETER Quite. Now, let's get this meeting underway shall we?

[The three of them sit around the table. PETER takes three scripts out from his folder.]

PETER Right, now here are the revised versions of 'Billy', you can see the changes quite clearly, I've marked them in red as usual.

[EDWARD and JOEboth eagerly flip through the scripts]

JOE What happened to Garrett's solo?

PETER I've cut it.

JOE You can't cut it! It's the best part of the show.

PETER It seems too labored Joe.

JOE But then that means Billy is the only one to get a solo.

PETER And?

JOE Well, [beat] Well then there's only really one main part now.

EDWARD There are no main parts, there are no small parts, there are just some characters who appear more frequently.

JOE You had something to do with this didn't you, you vicious queen!

EDWARD Oh now come along.

PETER He's right Joe, we've had to make some sacrifices. Garret is still integral to the world of the play. He is still a lead character.

JOE How can you say that? Originally this was about the relationship between Pat and Billy and now it seems to be just about Billy.

EDWARD Well that is what the audience will be coming to see.

JOE But it's like Les Mis without Javier! Without Stars!

PETER I'm sorry Joe, but we really have to cut back on this one. We've lost a lot of the original funding since Crawley Amateur Dramatics Society stole our sponsor.

EDWARD When did that happen?

PETER I got a call today from Shelia [beat] Gloating old hag!

EDWARD But they can't do that to us can they?

JOE Never mind that, what about Pat?!?

PETER Apparently they're planning on doing Miss Saigon and Mr Chan has decided that would be more appropriate advertising for the Restaurant than 'Billy' the Musical.

EDWARD Those sneaky bast /

JOE WHAT ABOUT PAT??!

PETER Joe, we have to cut the show down, it runs too long, it's four hours as it is!

JOE Unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable, just because they're doing come poxy West End thing, at least ours is original.

PETER Yes well, we can't offer a lead role to his daughter can we.

[JOEcrosses his arms and sulks. There is an awkward silence.]

EDWARD I'll tell you what, this'll cheer you up.

[EDWARD stands and picks up his bag and then starts to walk off]

PETER Where are you going?

EDWARD I'll be back in a second.

[JOE and PETER watch him leave, as soon as he is off stage JOE becomes lively again]

JOE Right then, I've been thinking about Billy, the way I see it he is a man who is caught, somewhere between fugitive and hero. How does it effect him, what does it do to his ego and morale?

PETER Go on.

JOE He is placed in a terrible position, on one hand he wants to tell everyone who he is and on the other he knows that unless he remains silent it could mean his life. It's exactly like me when I was in the navy!

PETER You weren't in the Navy where you?

JOE I was in the sea cadets but its the same sort of thing. Anyway, so there is a man who is forced to keep his true self hidden.

PETER Right.

JOE I've done a lot of research into Billy already Peter, I must have watched Young Guns eighteen times.

PETER Well I'm not really sure that's where we're heading with this one.

JOE And you know I could do it! You know I'd be FANTASTIC!

PETER Look, I'm still to make a decision on that one Joe, but there is something I wanted to speak to you about.

JOE If it's about what happened last year with the spoons I can assure you it was all a frightful misunderstanding, I wasn't to know Edward was going to put it in his coffee.

PETER Let's not dwell on that heh? What I wanted to ask you is whether or not you thought Clara would be auditioning again this year?

JOE Clara? Well I doubt it. She's trying to concentrate on the modeling now.

PETER But perhaps she could be persuaded?

JOE I'm not sure. You see the thing is /

[EDWARD bursts back onto the stage dressed as a cowboy

EDWARD ShoutingReach for the sky!

[JOE screams and falls off of his chair and onto the floor where he remains.]

PETER Where did you get that?

EDWARD I made it.

PETER What everything?

EDWARD Well obviously not the hat and guns, the guns I bought, but the rest I put together from stuff I've got at home.

JOE I never pictured you as the dressing up type.

EDWARD I used to go line-dancing, it was a long time ago.

JOE [Clapping his hands in excitement] Show us some moves cowboy!

EDWARD As I say, it was a long time ago.

JOE Oh go on you big tease!

PETER Now really, I must insist we get on with this, it's a very nice costume Edward but now let's get back to the script, I was hoping we could discuss the campfire / scene. I was wondering if you thought we could get hold of some actual horses for the show?

JOE Let me wear your hat.

EDWARD No

JOE Go on!

[JOE tries to remove EDWARD's hat

EDWARD Look piss off!

PETER Gentlemen, please, we have a lot to get through!

JOE I only want to try it on.

EDWARD You're always trying it on! Leave me alone.

JOE Spoilsport!

PETER Now, about these horses.

EDWARD I don't think it's going to work, can't we use models or something?

PETER But what about the authenticity?

JOE What about the horse shit?

EDWARD I hate to admit it but he's right!

PETER We used a Donkey in the Nativity.

EDWARD That was an outside performance.

[EDWARDremoves his hat and places it on his lap.]

PETER Maybe you're right.

EDWARD Unless you're suggesting we perform Billy outside? It might keep our costs lower? We wouldn’t have to hire a venue or rehearsal space.

PETER No, the logistics of the thing, there's too much that could go wrong. What we need is money.

EDWARD So maybe we could start charging club membership? Fifty pounds say? That's not a lot to ask.

JOE Not for you it's not. What about me?

EDWARD What about you?

PETER Joe's right Edward, we'd just start losing members, the last thing I need is for our key player to abdicate over to Sheila's lot.

JOE Dire tribe of amateurs!

PETER No, we need big money, we need investment, a sponsor. Someone who shares our passion!

[JOE tries to steal the hat off of EDWARD's lap]

EDWARD But there's no financial reward in it Peter! Unless 'Billy' breaks into the big time any potential investor would be throwing their money down the drain!

[JOE gently slides the hat off of EDWARD's lap.EDWARD smacks JOE's hand and JOE lets go immediately]

JOE Ow!

EDWARD Will you just lay off!

PETER I don't see it like that.

JOE Now there's a surprise!

PETER It's an opportunity to fund something great. Even if the show fails, which I don't think it will /

JOE If you cast the right people.

PETER the sponsor would still have helped to produce something unique, something special! 'Billy' works on so many levels.

EDWARD Well I'm still not convinced.

[JOEreaches for the hat again]

EDWARD Oh for crying out loud, here you are!

[EDWARD throws the hat over to JOE who puts it on and then runs over to the mirror to admire himself]

EDWARD I'd like to help out Peter, you know I would, but it's a lot you're asking.

PETER I don't expect you to fund the entire show, we can raise some money from fundraising, cabarets, that kind of thing. It's a good script.

EDWARD I don't doubt that, but if the cast can't perform then what? This piece all hinges on one thing.

PETER And what might that be?

EDWARD Who you decide will play Billy.

PETER This again is it?

EDWARD You know I could do it Peter.

PETER Joe has a strong voice, he's got a lot of experience Edward.

EDWARD But I don't think Joe's quite right for this one. He's too, too /

PETER Camp?

EDWARD Well let's just say he doesn't really look the tough rugged cowboy type. I mean look at him.

JOE Stick 'em up! [beat, tilting hat forward over his brow]Ooooh you saucy thing, you'd like that wouldn't you!

EDWARD You see! He looks like a right twerp!

JOE [Turns to face them] What's that?

EDWARD I said you look like Wyatt Earp!

JOE Do you think? [His attention returns to the mirror]

EDWARD As a would-be investor I'd feel a lot more confident knowing that my investment hinged on my performance. Give Joe the Garret role.

PETER He won't be too keen now I've cut Garret's solo.

EDWARD So put it back in.

PETER I'll have to think about it.

JOE [Returns to the group] Think about what?

PETER I have casting issues.

JOE Okay, okay! I'll ask when I get home.

EDWARD I think the key to the show is Garrett.

PETER Look, you both know that one of you will be playing Garrett /

JOE Edward

PETER and the other Billy/.

JOE Me

PETER but I still haven't decided which is which. I'm beginning think that you were right Peter. Garrett really is the key figure here, He is the one who creates all the dramatic tension.

JOE Do you think?

EDWARD Oh certainly. I mean, everyone knows about Billy the kid, but Pat Garrett, now there is a mysterious character. I'd be more than happy to be Garrett.

JOE You would?

EDWARD Yes. I'm fine with you being Billy.

JOE Well wait a minute. Who said I was Billy, nothing's been finalized yet?

PETER Well you did seem pretty keen on the idea.

JOE Yes, but Edwards the one with the costume.

EDWARD You seem to like it, why don't you wear that and I'll make myself something else.

PETER So that's agreed then. Joe you will be Billy.

JOE But I don't want to be Billy. I never said I wanted to be Billy!

PETER Really? I got the distinct impression that you wanted to be /

JOE No, no, no. All I said was that it was an important part, that you needed someone good to do it. Someone with a hat, someone like, well like Edward here!

EDWARD Oh no, I couldn't possibly do Billy the justice. I think Pat is the best part for me.

JOE [Standing up in defiance] Now look here damn it, I won't put up with this! Edward you would make a far better Billy than me, I should be Pat.

EDWARD Well it's not up to me, I mean, what do you think Peter?

PETER I must say that Joe has a good point there. You would be a wonderful Billy, if you thought you could prove you were committed to the project?

EDWARD I'll have to work it out tonight, let you know how much of my time I could invest.

PETER I'm sure that you'd be a great asset to the show.

JOE You certainly would! Why if you weren't then the show couldn't possibly go on.

PETER You don't know how right you are. But I'm still a little unsure about you playing the part of Pat, Joe.

JOE But I thought we'd agreed!

PETER I'm still short of females.

JOE I'll see what I can do.

PETER Getting up Right then, well that's a wrap gentlemen. Same time next week?

EDWARD Most certainly.

PETER [aside to EDWARD] I'll call you in the week.

JOE [To EDWARD]See you later.

[PETER exits]

JOE Look's like we'll be sharing a dressing room again this year.

EDWARD Perhaps I should come over in the week and we can take a look at each others part?

JOE You little minx!

EDWARD Come on, let's go back to mine, you can try on some of my other costumes.

[Blackout]