Diazepam Five Milligram - Part 1 by Lisa

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Diazepam Five Milligram - Part 1

by Lisa

Posted: 04 July 2003
Word Count: 118
Summary: As there was difficulty opening the .rtf file of this poem I have cut and pasted it with the use of underscores (as tabs and spaces don't work!) to create the correct spacing across the page. Please give me your thoughts on the piece. Thanks.

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i only wanted something
______How can I help?
____________I’m so tired – my heart just races

to make me sleep,
______What’s worrying you?
____________Nothing, apart from not getting to sleep

to wipe away the raw circles
______How long have you been experiencing this?
____________I’ve always had problems

that confine my scorched
______Always?
____________Worse these last six weeks.

eyes;
______Have you been drinking much alcohol?
____________Hardly any

the burgundy and grey shadows
______And work, is that a problem at the moment?
____________Only that I’m so tired I can’t function

cast by a failing sun
______This should help – a benzodiazepine.
____________Will it make me sleep?

spiralling into
______It will ease the anxiety attacks.
____________Will it make me sleep?

void.

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Comments by other Members

pene at 17:37 on 05 July 2003 Report this post

I am intrigued to know what happens next. I am not an expert but I think this works very well. I have personal experience of the ease with which GP's and Mental health professionals dispense so called "wonder drugs" in fact not just dispense but at times try to "push" them.
I particularly like the way you have picked up on the "key" questions asked to ascertain diagnosis
looking forward to part 2
Take care Pene

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Lisa at 18:40 on 05 July 2003 Report this post

Hi Pene

Part Two can be found at the Haiku and Short Poetry Forum or by clicking on my profile or the writer's archive.

Thanks for your comments.

Diazepam Five Milligram Part Two is a summary of what I felt during the few days I took Diazepam.

These days, I make better use of my insomnia and I write!!!

Thanks again

Lisa

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Hilary Custance at 09:19 on 14 July 2003 Report this post

Lisa, I thought the structure of this a perfect mirror of the dislocation of the experience - the three threads of the thoughts and speech of the 'patient' and the speech of the doctor (just this moment I wondered, what about the thoughts of doctor? I suppose they would be unfathomable in this case - no, that is not a suggestion to change the poem. It stands very well as it is.) I found its linguistic simplicity straight on target. Cheers, Hilary

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