Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » Ellenna » Work
Archive »  Poetry » Other » Work

Loose connection

by Ellenna 

Posted: 04 July 2003
Word Count: 24
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced





questions hover
looks bore
words stick
thoughts race


eyes avoid
arms cross
tears flow
pack case

say sorry
patch up
avoid truth
lose face






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Agnieszka Ryk at 15:07 on 04 July 2003  Report this post
Hi Ellenna
I actually think this could expand itself out of the short poem group and into something longer - it's got such a enjoyable 'angry stomp' to it, I could imagine it extending on for several more stanzas, especially following the form of the first two stanzas, whose last lines rhyme. Its a great case of the rhythm of the poem capturing the meaning expressed. And a good title!
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Ellenna at 15:11 on 04 July 2003  Report this post
thanks so much ! I am usually more rambly so this is quite a challenge to condense ....

Ellenna :)
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Ellenna at 21:56 on 04 July 2003  Report this post
oh made some amendments , including title ... agniezska..hope you still like it !!

ellenna
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Sarah at 14:54 on 24 July 2003  Report this post
I like the metre.. (meter?) Yuo know what I mean, the pace. The end rhyme works too. An
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by Ellenna:      ...view all work by Ellenna