Him
Posted: 16 March 2005 Word Count: 282 Summary: Not based on a true story.
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His beauty startled me. He was perfection, silky golden hair just resting at the nape of his neck – flyaway yet dutiful, he might just have woken up or spent hours grooming, it didn’t matter either way, I adore him. His eyes are browny olive, kind eyes that look beyond his immediate surroundings and seem to take in a marvellous world that I don’t see. He is always seated, resting, yet ready for action. When I first saw him I felt I’d come home, that’s him I thought, he’s my Prince Charming, I won’t look further now that I’ve found him. I made sure I passed by him each day, sometimes more than once but I didn’t want to become too obvious. What if people saw me and guessed my secret passion? No, that simply wouldn’t do.
He looked like a Tom to me, or maybe something more exotic, Pedro or Vladimir? When I could contain myself no longer I confided in my best friend - a mistake I feel. Her brows knitted together and she slowly shook her head.
“You’re mad.” Was her initial response. “Barking mad.”
So I laughed along with her and pretended to enjoy the joke. It’s only now, now when the sirens are getting louder and I can feel the warm blood from my freshly cut hand dripping down my arm that I might have to concede. But I hold onto him still, tight, gripping what is mine. I want to take him home, keep him with me forever but it’s too late, they’ve caught me. He might just be a mannequin in a cheap men’s clothing store in Hackney, but to me, he is my everything.
Comments by other Members
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Silverelli at 14:25 on 16 March 2005
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I couldn't quite believe a Tom being put into the same category as a Pedro or Vlad, but the mannequin discovery was a dandy and that last paragraph is too funny. Nice delivery.
Another obscure masterpiece by Julie Balloo.
Thanks for the morning read, I'm awake now.
Adam
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Jubbly at 14:27 on 16 March 2005
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Adam I don't know why, but I love the idea that I woke you up. Thanks for reading, now I'm going to stroll down my Hackney high St in search of dummies to stalk.
Cheers
Julie
x
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Al T at 14:36 on 16 March 2005
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Hi Julie this is great fun! He sounds lovely, but she really is a bunny boiler! I'm sure there's a much longer book to be written on why dummies so often more attractive than real men - at least they don't pretend they're going to call you etc etc. Off to read some Germaine Greer :)
Adele.
<Added>
Forgot to say there's a stray ? after "response" in the dialogue line.
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Account Closed at 17:34 on 16 March 2005
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Agree with Adele - definately a bb. You could have fun expanding this either that she 'kidnaps' the dummy or she switches her attention to another support medium, like those cardboard stands used for music promotions.
With silky golden hair he could have a more Germanic name, perhaps or a Californian surfer name. Well, this story has certainly got me going but then the sun has come out here - Spring is in the air...
Elspeth
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crowspark at 20:00 on 16 March 2005
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Jubbly, yes I know that there is something about that silky golden hair and the head that you cann't stop twisting round and round. I spent a year with a shop dummy, but that is another story.
And this one is a wonderful story and a great flash. That last paragraph fills me with intense glee.
Great stuff.
Bill
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Anj at 20:52 on 16 March 2005
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Julie,
I love the way that even though I was smiling, and I can see she was a bb, she still had my sympathy.
Great stuff
Andrea
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anisoara at 13:17 on 17 March 2005
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I don't know what a bunny boiler is, but I loved this. I suspected that he was a dog at first, and when her friend said she was barking mad, I thought that confirmed it. That he was a mannequin just floored me!
But what's a bunny boiler?
What about Gunter or Helmut?
Ani
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Sue H at 14:31 on 17 March 2005
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Lovely, Julie! I like the final image of her standing there, slightly bewildered and obviously mad, as they come for her and STILL she adores him!
Sue
x
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Jubbly at 16:13 on 17 March 2005
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Thankyou Adele, Elspeth, Bill, Andrea, Anni and Sue, glad you liked it. A dog? Now that is weird.
Julie
x
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Jim Beard at 13:44 on 18 March 2005
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Julie
My first thoughts were that this was going to be about a cat but now I see that I am the dummy after all. Nice touch
Regards
Jim
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Bianca at 17:59 on 18 March 2005
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Hi Julie
This was good and I had no idea what was going to happen.
It made me smile.
Shirley
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kennyp at 21:35 on 19 March 2005
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Julie
Like Ani I thought it was about dog. Didn't see the last line coming. Made me laugh
Kenny
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DerekH at 15:35 on 20 March 2005
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Julie, I read some other comments and saw people expected him to be something other than a man... I didn't ... You definitely surprised me with that, and the image of a shattered shop window and a crazy woman bleeding and clinging to a dummy is surreally funny and very dark!
Brilliant flash.
Derek.
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choille at 11:28 on 30 March 2005
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Yes this is good.Thought the dutiful hair was a bit strange until I got to the end and it then made perfect sense
Caroline
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bjlangley at 20:16 on 31 March 2005
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Great fun Julie, taking it to such extents at the end, with the sirens wailing makes it all the more amusing.
All the best,
Ben
<Added>
Just had another chuckle - looking back at the summary "Not based on a true story" - very glad to hear it!
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Jardinery at 19:32 on 04 April 2005
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hi julie
enjoyed this but felt unsure of words like silky golden - deliberately cliched for ironic reason? if not then it doesn't make the thing very real to me and so i kinda guessed the ending. but if i was made aware of the 'person's' uniqueness I wouldn't guess the ending so easily.
otherwise very nicely handled.
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lieslj at 04:44 on 09 April 2005
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I just got to this and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I wondered where she is bleeding if it could be just a mite more specific as to how the injury was sustained. Did she break a shop window? I'm feeling a bit lost.
A fascinating read.
Liesl
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Felmagre at 15:53 on 04 May 2005
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Yes, I too thought it was 'canine' at first so was completely 'surprised' when the 'dummy' emerged. Very enjoyable. Thank you
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Silverelli at 22:58 on 06 July 2005
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Hey Jubbly,
Make sure you save this one for mannequinenvy.com, they will be accepting flash fiction soon.
Love,
Adam
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