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The Blue Eyed Bad Day
Posted: 04 July 2003
Word Count: 151
Summary: Childrens poem inspired by my son Nicholas(7) who told me he was having a 'blue eyed bad day'
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The Blue Eyed Bad Day is somthing rare
It trips you up and tangles your hair
It knots your laces and at your clothes
It traps your fingers as it steps on your toes
It rips the poster you put on the wall
It creates a big puddle into which you will fall
It flicks all the inkblots that get on your clothes
And laughs at the bogey that flew out of your nose
It cackles when you stutter and cannot be heard
It helps you forget your speech word for word
It makes the bus come to early and dinner too late
When all you dislike is for you on your plate
It makes you squabble with all of your friends
But no sooner it started it suddenly ends
For the blue- eyed bad day appears out of the blue
So beware for the next time it's coming for you
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Comments by other Members
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 didau at 11:53 on 04 July 2003
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are line 3 in stanza 2 and line 1 in stanza 4 meant to look like that? I'm certain not.
I love the little - reminds me of Holly Golightly's mean reds.
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bluesky3d at 13:09 on 04 July 2003
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It's a great title Boo! and the idea is brilliant
I liked all the verses but it might be better to say for verse 3...
'It cackles when you stutter and cannot be heard
and you forget the speech you learnt word for word
It makes the bus come too early and dinner too late
When all you dislike is there on your plate
dunno if you agree?
A :o)
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Naomi at 13:19 on 04 July 2003
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Fantastic, and something every kid will identify with. Not sure about line, "When all you dislike is for you on your plate" - sounds a bit clumsy and breaks from the structure you have of each line starting with an active verb (what the blue-eyed bad day does). Could it be something like, "it makes food you hate appear on your plate?"
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bluesky3d at 13:28 on 04 July 2003
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yes I agree or possibly...
It cackles when you stutter and cannot be heard
it helps you forget what you learnt word for word
It makes the bus come too early and dinner too late
And makes food you hate appear on your plate
A :o)
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olebut at 14:19 on 04 July 2003
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or even
It cackles when you stutter and never can be heard
It helps you forget your speech, every single word
It makes the bus come too early and dinner much too late
When all you dislike is for you, there upon your plate
take care
david
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Anj at 19:27 on 06 July 2003
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I loved this, and the title - the rhymes don't seem contrived. And I go with Boo's 3rd verse. Really sums up the day that all went wrong.
Regards
Andrea
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Boo at 14:13 on 07 July 2003
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Thanks all for your comments,
didau Ive fixed the stanza.sorry but thats what happens when you try and download work with children around.
Point taken Anna about the active verbs.
I loved reading all your suggestions.I agree with you all that the third verse needs a little tweaking.
I particularly liked Annas
'It makes food you hate appear on your plate'.
Now I am probably going to sound a complete novice but I am hear to learn...
didau who is Holly Golightly?
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stephanieE at 15:03 on 07 July 2003
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Holly Golightly was the charming, winsome heroine of Breakfast at Tiffany's (played by Audrey Hepburn) who swanned around Manhattan doing not very much, but causing men to fall at her feet. When she was lonely, she complained - not of the 'blues' but of the 'mean reds'...
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Phil99 at 19:53 on 10 July 2003
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Hi
Very good. I'm childish so the line about the bogey made me laugh out loud.
Philip
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ChrisCharlton at 21:15 on 22 July 2003
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I don't really read poetry much, and had to read and re-read it a couple of times to find the rythm, but then I got it and it was great.
I wish I could write stuff like that!
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ChrisCharlton at 21:52 on 23 July 2003
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I hate to be sycophantic, but I really liked this, so I told my children. You get a thumbs up from the 11 year old, and my 7 year old wants to take it to school - except she's on holiday now!
And they both laughed out loud to the bogey line.
Chris
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