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by roovacrag 

Posted: 06 March 2005
Word Count: 67

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Can I walk hush-a-bye Island?
should I tread on sand so pure?
Feel a love so full and plenty
to want and to hold.

Sky so vivid,blue on the island
Sea as green with waves so white.
Tell me? Can I find love so sublime
or was it a dream?

Dreams are from hush-a-bye
wanting dream
that cannot be found
anywhere else.

Only in minds,who have loved.

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Comments by other Members

paul53 [for I am he] at 22:38 on 06 March 2005  Report this post
Another fine offering from a profilic author. I was taken out on a small island on a Scottish loch - or that secret island from Swallows and Amazons. Anything that transports the reader elsewhere for a few blessed moments deserves high praise. Reminded of a song also...

I also think when you pass 10,000 points, you should get free membership. How about it, David?

laurafraser at 08:03 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
this poem starts with a lullaby-esq melody, but i wonder if the "to wantand to hold" might be stretched out a little? no to be pedantic but the rhyming pattern ABAC, i'm not sure suits the poem...the five syllables in "to wantand to hold" feel slightly abrupt and consequently i find myself unconvinced that the narrator does iinfact want that...

there is a real sweetness to the poem, and i think the poem can be strenghened by some playing with. i don't mean to be overtly crtitical, but i genuinely like this piece and would love to read a version that reaches its full fantastic potential,

"Only in minds who have loved" is a lovely idea, but i think the poem needs to reach deeper into the narrator's psyche to really convince the reader that this is true...
of course if this is all non-sensical ramblings please ignore!


poemsgalore at 18:26 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
I couldn't help think about Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, I'm sure there was a song in that rather similar to this, sweet and reassuring Alice, just like you.

roovacrag at 22:48 on 10 March 2005  Report this post
Paul,Laura,Kathleen many thanks for the comments on my poem Island of love.
Bit delated this week at replying.

xx Alice

Elsie at 22:53 on 10 March 2005  Report this post
Hey Alice - you made a new word - somewhere between delayed and belated...like it!

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