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Grow. =++=

by Lawrenco 

Posted: 06 March 2005
Word Count: 104
Summary: Welcome to the micro-church,of ideas.=++=Symbol

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You are part of the cause ?
If so lets get together in force.

The streams within,
stretch out to meet your soul(to).

you in turn lend your genorosity,
to holistic wealth,newly awakening whole.

Trust your neighbours love,
where true warmth is found.

Those friends,people you meet positivity bound;
heavans gold you get in return.What gratuity!

Here your minds wealth,
to find true happiness and health.

Thrust out your distrust ,
to those that try to control us.

But the battle is on to ,
change round their persuasive way .

To win the day.To abound ,new frienship`s,
wherever the right environment is found.

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 20:56 on 06 March 2005  Report this post
Pat......something different.

Powerful,a belief that you listen to and write about.

xx Alice

paul53 [for I am he] at 22:34 on 06 March 2005  Report this post
A powerful piece here that manages to say a lot in relatively few words. Well done.
Line 1: enforce - do you mean in force?

Lawrenco at 20:04 on 07 March 2005  Report this post
I changed the format a little looked unfinished in the Summary.T


Thanks for the advice Paul,I`m happy that you liked it.It `s like a soul mirror you put on what you think is important,hopefully you can get guidance from yourself,and it helps you to grow hence the title.
Thanks Alice for that heart felt comment ,always the support!Love you lots,metaphysically that is!!!Cheers Allxxxx

paul53 [for I am he] at 08:03 on 08 March 2005  Report this post
A great improvement.
When you are inspired for your next piece, think about the first and final lines especially. Good books and good films have great openings and great endings - they draw you in and leave you satisfied.
Strong lines will probably be the ones you are most pleased with. Try rearranging things so these lines are placed to draw the reader in, and also leave them glad they read your work.

Brian Aird at 09:18 on 09 March 2005  Report this post
Made me think this one.

I remeber feeling sad one day and somneone came up, not with encouragement or to ask why, but to simply say 'maybe your part of the problem'.

It snapped me right out of my mood and made me positive again '=++=' as it were.

Have fun


Lawrenco at 23:35 on 09 March 2005  Report this post
Thanks Paul, for your critically perspective scan,I have changed stanza 4,and 5 around hopefully that will make the poem flow in the right order to bring the build up correctly ,well spotted ,thanks mate.

Brian, Happy you liked it .I did intend it to be a reflective piece ,we all look in the mirror to see how we look but how often do we look at our souls?Yea O.K writting poetry I suppose quite
a lot.But i`m happy it makes you think.

Epona Love at 01:26 on 01 April 2005  Report this post
A very positive piece. Very nice... should 4th line be "stretch out to meet your soul"(to)?
I loved it, quite a micro church you've got going there... I can imagine the singing in the pews!

Emma, x.

Lawrenco at 12:49 on 02 April 2005  Report this post
Thanks for your comment yes perhaps I should write hymns for the "church of the human condition"?!
I suppose grammer not my strong point,on reflection that line doesn`t make much sense so your recomendations are welcome;thanks, i`m happy you got something from it.

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