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by TheGodfather 

Posted: 20 February 2005
Word Count: 209
Summary: Is it the misfortunes of the world that make me fortunate?

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An unwanted friend from the past will visit unannounced.

The worst day of your life is fast approaching.

She knows you have been unfaithful.

Get used to being short.

Everyone knows that you are aloof and unorganized.

Let your loved ones know how you feel by moving far away.

Your personality is...unique.

Your business ventures will fail, like always.

Your life will be cut off abruptly and tragically.

Your friends will all talk bad about you.

Someone will let the air out of your tires.

No one you know respects you.

You are fat because you eat too much.

Your conscience is telling you to ignore it.

You are good-looking when she is drunk.

You are never welcome at any gatherings.

Even your everyday desires will not be granted.

The people you tell your stories to do not care.

Shoot for the moon. That will get you off our planet.

Your health will suffer. You will end up destitute.

You should be able to do unskilled labor.

Someone you consider close is hoping you will not call.

Get used to your home town. You will never get to leave.

Smile. Tomorrow is going to be worse.

You will have to give everything in life away before you find anything.

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Comments by other Members

paul53 [for I am he] at 08:20 on 21 February 2005  Report this post
Excellent. Wish I'd written it. The juxtaposition of the various messages creates a new whole.

Ticonderoga at 14:57 on 21 February 2005  Report this post
Lovely litany of doom and despair!!



roovacrag at 22:14 on 21 February 2005  Report this post
Goddy a well constructed poem and with feeling that blessed the soul.
Great one.
xxxx Alice

jewelsx at 01:12 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
The ending some how made me laugh! I feel like i had one of those days today! very good observation of how life sometimes feels.


Brian Aird at 15:23 on 22 February 2005  Report this post
Nice one!

'You are good-looking when she is drunk'

This sounds like the well-deserved self-pity of many of us!

I was expecting a 'punch line' though, that turns the misery to joy somehow.


LONGJON at 21:08 on 23 February 2005  Report this post
Hello Godfather,

One of the best pieces I have read on the site lately. Coherent, lucid, so easy to identify with, and yet not entirely despondent!

Well written.

John P.

Lawrenco at 19:33 on 24 February 2005  Report this post
It`s a bit like "Hi i`m your negative guru".
It reminded me of a sargent major ranting at someone incesantly.
Had a good character feeling about it.
film style feel ,as ther others some good lines ,easy but provocative .

Mr B. at 08:53 on 27 February 2005  Report this post
This reminded me of 'Sunscreen' by Baz Lehrmann (?), except he tried to be optimistic, whereas this just says 'deal with it!'

Like it!



gard at 00:12 on 20 April 2005  Report this post
Hi Godfather! You know I really like this piece! I do like some "list" poems. I only had one crit and that was I was waiting for a little bit more at the end, on the last line. I know it is just me I guess.

I listened to a poem awhile ago on the BBC radio (I think 7) called sometimes (forgot the authoress); a list of sometimes then a series of lists of strange things, then right at the end after a description of a piece of melting mud crust, there was a pause followed by "it could happen to you! (sometimes miracles/unusual events happen). It was a great "punchline" if you like (though not that strong and not well represented here). I suppose you were not looking to place a similar thing. I was just trying to explain my expectation that built during the poem. But never mind I really liked it.


maybe I will try to find the poem on the internet

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