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Love for Life

by Carlton 

Posted: 09 February 2005
Word Count: 47
Summary: For Valentines, possibly


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To be alive is one thing
yet living live a lie
wrapped up in this consumerism
repent before I die.

But just a moment spent
within your sight
a pause
beneath your light
is more than life's rich dream can bring
to be with you is life.






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Comments by other Members



Jo Lamby at 22:03 on 09 February 2005  Report this post
Hi Carlton,

I love the 2nd stanza of your poem. Do you mind if I ask - in the first stanza, do you mean that all this consumerism is no way to live life and is therefore a lie ?

Jo

Carlton at 18:00 on 10 February 2005  Report this post
In Essence yes; fed up with the throw away culture, and the problems it brings. Average borrowing debt in U.K 30,000 +, its no wonder people get so miserable, which of course affects/wrecks relationships.

Jo Lamby at 22:44 on 11 February 2005  Report this post
But what does Consumerism have to do with Valentine's ?

Jo

Carlton at 10:01 on 12 February 2005  Report this post
Is it acceptable to buy just a card?, listen to the advertising on all media at the moment, if you're not spending around 50.00 then the ad men haven't got you , which is good; but advertisers earn good money because they get us to spend spend spend, and borrow to do it. So even love has a consumerist slant now. This work is to someome I met who shuns all that is consumerist, and whose love, help and support will get me back on my feet.

Ticonderoga at 14:44 on 12 February 2005  Report this post
Lucky recipient! True sense here of some one being treasured.


Best,

Mike

Jo Lamby at 14:56 on 13 February 2005  Report this post
Lucky you. Does she know you feel this strongly ? (I've read your other poems and they are very strong)

jewelsx at 00:49 on 14 February 2005  Report this post
i would want this for valentines day

jewelsx

Hamburger Yogi & PBW at 06:58 on 25 February 2005  Report this post
I thought the strongest part was 'a pause beneath your light is more than life's rich dream can bring' because of the fusion of sentiment with rythm. 'Consumerism' stretches that line a bit if 'lie' is to work with 'die'. Somehow 'life' at the end leaves the whole thing hanging (not sure why).

Hamburger Yogi


paul53 [for I am he] at 16:02 on 26 February 2005  Report this post
The second verse without the initial "But" is an excellent poem by itself.

Montog at 12:30 on 28 February 2005  Report this post
I agree with paul53, that second verse on its own is very emotive
enjoyed it!

Account Closed at 22:18 on 03 August 2005  Report this post
Beautiful. Thank you.


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