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Yield

by KnoxOverstreet 

Posted: 06 February 2005
Word Count: 103
Summary: One of many scrawls over the last nine months all fixated on the idea of birth and fatherhood..
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Long after the phrase
you're going to be a Dad
has jaded itself
into numbness
I have considered
the meaning of you
to me
and to the world

To me
the reaction to
a feed-me mouth
a teach-me brain
love-me eyes

To the world
the reaction to
a happy dustman
a great musician
a serial killer
another middle manager

And as I ponder
these things
I creep
towards the end
of my life

Making decisions
about one
you have not yet started

My circle
interlocking
with yours

Another middle manager
who dreamt of being
a serial killer
a great musician
a happy dustman






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Comments by other Members



Harry at 14:14 on 06 February 2005  Report this post
Hi,

This is very accessible, with the structure emphasisng the theme effortlessly.

Lovely stuff; I enjoyed it very much.

All the best

Harry
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Silverelli at 16:13 on 06 February 2005  Report this post
Knox,
This is awesome. Not an avid poetry reader, but this dug into my heart. Hit my emotions.

Cheers,
Adam

PS-Dead Poets Society is one of the only films I ever cried too. Nice name.
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joanie at 15:26 on 07 February 2005  Report this post
Hi Knox. This is a lovely picture of the thoughts and feelings surrounding parenthood.
I love ...
My circle
interlocking
with yours

I enjoyed this very much.

joanie
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SmithBrowne at 18:19 on 04 April 2005  Report this post
Like your other fatherhood poem, Knox, this one is fine and finely difficult. You really are brave in that you don't shy away from expounding the harder emotions with unique juxtopositions of images (a serial killer / a great musician / a happy dustman). Very touching and chilling in the same breath.

Now this may sound a bit opposite to my usual give-me-more-imagery commentary, but maybe the haunting resonance of the last stanza would be even more haunting if the repetition of those startling career choices was more stark and simple -- rather, repeating something along the lines of "a killer / a musician / a dustman" without the adjectives/qualifications. You've told us above they are great, happy and serial... maybe the echo you want to leave with the reader would be more visceral if more stark.

But of course that could be more a personal pecadillo than useful to you.... anyway, hope that gives something... you've given a lot.

Thank you,

Smith
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Jekyll&Hyde at 18:41 on 09 March 2006  Report this post
Hi KnoxOverstreet,

Really enjoyed this poem, and like the short stanzas.

Excellent!

S.M.
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