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Boundaries of Truth - feedback needed

by viky7258 

Posted: 29 January 2005
Word Count: 934
Summary: I added this story to WW quite awhile ago and have just tweaked it abit and added afew extra story details, it's by no means finished so you'll have to bear with me that it's so short, but any feedback on it so far would be great - thanks.


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The wind blew harshly, forcing everything to move against its will. Trees bowed in submission, creaking and begging for lenience, yet somewhere among the chaos a man was quietly saying a prayer into the wind.
Dense foliage had covered his hiding place, but the icy fingertips of the wind found him and stripped him quickly of his body heat, he shivered, his muscles quickly trying to compensate for the loss. He clenched his teeth to stop them from chattering; the only noise he wanted to emanate was that of his whispered prayer, mystical words that would change the stars, the future, and the very fabric of time.
“David, where are you?”
David’s eyes flicked open, and instantly everything was still.
“Damn you woman.”
“David, please. Do not hide from me!” The woman’s desperate plea for him came again; he knew he’d have to respond.
Standing up from his crouched position he saw a short distance from him an elderly woman searching in vain. “I am here Mother.” He sneered. “I was not hiding, I was merely seeking some solitude.”
As she turned to face him, he softened his features so as not to show his true emotions.
“There you are David, I was so worried. Everything is still so new to you, and you should not be out here on your own. Come with me now, we must return to the safety of the village. Your powers have no limits outside of our boundaries it is not safe.”
“Yes Mother, I will return with you, forgive my foolishness.”
“You are forgiven boy, it is the time of your trial though and now is not the time to be wandering off, even if it is for solitude, which I know we all seek. Come now.” And she led him back the way she had come.
As he walked behind her, he bought the palms of his hands together and formed a faint glowing sphere between them. His whole body was charged with its energy, it felt so good.
The elderly woman was not his biological Mother and he felt no real compassion for her, but he did feel an almost uncontrollable urge, the urge to share this unlimited energy within his palms with her. He wanted to share it with her, square in her back, but he fought his urge to kill her. It was not the right time and he knew it never would be.
As they crossed the now almost worn away circle drawn at the boundaries of the village, the power within him died. He watched as the ball of energy that had grown almost a foot in diameter shrunk to the size of a marble. He hated this village. It was not where he belonged, why had his people abandoned him.

Just past the boundary was a series of huts; each hut set a few metres from the next so that they surrounded the whole proximity. These huts were occupied by the village’s guardians – the Charlock. These creatures were part animal, part human and had lived in peace for many generations in their own village, however this was before an ‘understanding’ was met between themselves and David’s people – the Dalenti, and now they guarded the boundary to the Dalenti’s village. The Charlock knew that the pact would bring only misfortune and suffering for their people, but for a greater good they had offered their services and had paid the price with their freedom.

The Charlock were formidable to look at, looking more like warriors than the peaceful race they really were.

When born each Charlock was born as an animal, with the characteristic looks of a new-born sparrow, however throughout their infancy they grew at an alarming rate, their appearance changing drastically so that within a few fall and rises of the suns they would reach the size of a small human, albeit with the head of a bird. Adulthood would also come quick for a Charlock, and within only ten or more days they were well over seven foot tall, with a beautiful mane of feathers, and wings almost twice their own body size. The rest of their body would vary from Charlock to Charlock, some would have claws for feet, others would have them for hands, on the rare occasion one would grow spikes on their hands, and partially on their back. This however was very rare indeed and it was seen as a sign of mastery and power. When such a Charlock was born elaborate celebrations would take place and the newborn would become an instant member of the chieftains, unlike others who would have to earn their place.

The Charlock were a clan of benevolent yet reclusive people, they only really inter-mingled with others in their own tribe and rarely met with outsiders; they valued their way of life and did not wish for outside influence which may disrupt it. Recently though, this has changed.

David and his mother passed a Chieftain Charlock on their way into the village; it turned to greet them, but said nothing. David looked at it with contempt; he hated these creatures even more than his own people. The Charlock recognised the disrespect shown but did not act upon it, this human before him was one of great significance, and although no respect was shown to him, he must not react and so bowed regardless. This angered David even more, but he continued walking, aware that the further he got into the village, the more eyes would be on him. He had to be careful, and time his own proceedings.






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