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New horizons?
Posted: 29 January 2005
Word Count: 71
Summary: ...just looking out at the horizon this morning and thinking ...
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the end
or a beginning;
a source of fear for ancients
or a challenge to explore?
conclusion
or excitement;
excuse to stop believing
or the yearning to know more?
finale
or the opening act;
the closing of the curtains
or a rise to take the floor?
destruction
or my re-birth;
my ultimate surrender,
standing silent on the shore
as I gaze at the horizon?
Or my call to go to war?
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Comments by other Members
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 Don Gorgon at 20:16 on 29 January 2005
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It's cool how the simplest of things can trigger something inside your head, which results in something creative. I've often thought about the sun coming up and going down and whether it is the beginning or the end of the day. I particularly like the 'theatrical' third verse, very nicely put together joanie.
Peace and Love
Don
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Mac AM at 12:31 on 30 January 2005
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It seems to me that now I'm looking at your horizon too!
A lovely poem.
Mac
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 joanie at 13:16 on 30 January 2005
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Thanks Mac. It is looking particularly stunning right now, actually.
joanie
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Tina at 17:40 on 30 January 2005
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Hi Joanie
Have been stuggling tono avail with a piece of my own this weekend and so I thought I would give this site a read - there is always something to cheer you and this is no exception.
i hope your horizon is more 'stunning' than ...
a call to go to war
I like the build up in the stanzas and the images you are working with
Thanks
Tina
x
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fireweed at 17:03 on 31 January 2005
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joanie, I liked the way this unfolded and the use of rhyme in the third line - slightly mournful, questioning sound. I wonder whether you should separate the last line - Or my call to go to war? from the final stanza as it suggests new directions, a change of mood, something not quite settled perhaps, and needs attention as a line in its own right rather than just being a line that follows on from the rest and happens to end the poem.
fireweed
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joanie at 17:19 on 31 January 2005
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fireweed, thank you. yes, I think you are right about the last line - I have changed it.
joanie
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engldolph at 13:51 on 03 February 2005
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HI Joanie,
I liked the thinking behind this piece, and the way your pick one thing (horizon) and look at in in many ways.
The start:
the end...
or a beginning;
grabbed me; simple and open, yet definitive
I'm not too sure about the use of ... (I don't think you need them, and to me it destracted a little)
I agree with fireweed that the end needs a little work. I think it might work better if you follow the stanza pattern you established and keep to 4 lines, deleting perhaps:
standing silent on the shore
as I gaze at the horizon?
just some thoughts
Enjoyed
Mike
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joanie at 09:40 on 04 February 2005
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Hi Mike ,
Thanks for the observations. I have deleted the .......s. I agree - they were superfluous, I think.
I'll think some more about the last lines.
Glad you enjoyed it.
joanie
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Ticonderoga at 12:03 on 04 February 2005
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Too late to this - it's all been said; much richness of thought expressed with terrific simplicity.
Best,
Mike
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 Mr B. at 08:12 on 16 February 2005
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It's nice seeing the way a poet takes a basic idea and explores it in a unique way. How many different interpretations would there be if your theme was used as a stimulus? The wayyou explored it engaged by not reaching any conclusions but maintained a circular, questioning style.
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joanie at 20:12 on 06 March 2005
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Mr. B, I'm really sorry - I didn't see this response. Thank you, if rather belatedly! Glad you found it interesting.
joanie
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