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Beyond the Counterpane
Posted: 28 June 2003
Word Count: 103
Summary: childhood memories...when such things as counterpanes existed :)and beds were cold!
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There were unseen hands under my bed. When I eventually unfurled under the sheet the eiderdown slipped off me like a penguin into the icy sea. So unwelcoming until the hot water bottle created a warm patch ready for me to move into. I reached as if with tentacles to where the blankets tucked me in and stopped me falling into the chasm but I quickly withdrew to the oasis I had created It was dark and unknown out there and I had to make friends with my bed. It was the only ally against the demons that wanted to nip my ankles.
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Comments by other Members
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 Anna Reynolds at 23:26 on 29 June 2003
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Hi Ellenna. Isn't it interesting- there are lots of universal, shared childhood memories about fear of the unknown, the dark, ordinary things and noises becoming terrifying?
Some lovely images here- 'unseen hands under the bed', and I particularly liked 'unfurled', it made me re-read it and think- 'yes, that's right', which is always a good sign. Making friends with your bed is a great image and really evokes the way in which we are ambivalent about our safety nets. When we move on to the later parts of this exercise, you'll see why this part was so important.
The only thought I had was this: some of the images and language are authentically childlike and really work well- but in other places, where you use adult phrases/images, I wondered if you might rethink this? for instance, 'chasm', 'oasis', 'as if with tentacles'- it's a slightly uneasy balance for me of an adult voice and a child's voice, and the child's voice is stronger, more unusual and distinctive. Making friends with your bed is an image that is pure and utterly recognisable- lovely.
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 Ellenna at 23:33 on 29 June 2003
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Thank you for your constructive comments, just what i need! I take your points about slight discrepancy there too,,, thank you :)
Ellie
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LONGJON at 00:03 on 30 June 2003
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Hello Ellena
The imagery of the penguin slipping into the sea and the association with icyness is neatly done. Has to be a piece written by someone living in a cold climate who knows all about icy winter mornings and how instant the effect is - just like jumping into a cold sea.
John P.
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Ellenna at 07:32 on 30 June 2003
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Hello John..believe it or not this was London! But no central heating and boy was it cold..but then in ,perhaps,distorted memory were the summers always long and hot? :)
Ellenna
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LONGJON at 09:02 on 30 June 2003
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Hello Ellena,
I know just what you mean,about London, used to live in Woolwich in a grim, dirty brick terraced house, literally two up, two down and kitchen at the back. No bathroom, heating, hot water, an outside loo. Do you remember the ice on the inside of the windows in winter? I just mentioned that to bluesky3d and she remembers it. I moved to New Zealand in 1965 and haven't seen snow since. Were all the summers long and hot - well,if they weren't they should have been.
Keep bashing the keys.
Haere ra
John P.
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Jabulani at 12:18 on 30 June 2003
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How come you have managed to capture my feelings better than I have?.....it is strange how we have all shared experiences and fears of this kind. I have been inspired to have another go at this exercise, trying this time to capture the bleak coldness of a child's bed in England.......but that was before I read yours which is brilliant.
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bluesky3d at 17:37 on 30 June 2003
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John,
yes you mentioned the icy windows, I should point out though I am a 'he' not a 'she' ... :o)
(I posted a little bit about myself in the forum comments when I first joined the group)
Ellenna,
I thought your images were very vivid.
Andrew :o)
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LONGJON at 21:26 on 30 June 2003
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Hello Jabulani,
Thankyou most kindly, a generous comment. I can't help wondering whether the memory of those times stay with us simply because it was childhood or,more, because it was not a very good childhood in the sense that the surroundings affected everything else and made everything bleak, dirty, cold and unfriendly.
Andrew, Sorry, my apologies, I'm still a newbie around the site, should have taken the time to check the background details.
Good luck
John P.
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Boo at 14:26 on 01 July 2003
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I loved the way you made friends with your bed!!I can also remember living in a similar house in Manchester.It evoked memories for me of scrambling downstairs in the morning and sitting embracing the gas fire to get warm!Thanks for the memory.
Clare
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