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Sitting on the edge of my bed…

by Odowla 

Posted: 18 January 2005
Word Count: 294
Summary: A very short, emotional piece...


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I wandered into my room, feeling drained after a long, hard day. My bones ached with the pain only brought on by hard exercise. I knew I couldn’t keep pushing myself like this, but at least it was something I could feel. All my life I had been fairly inactive, just out there enough to keep in shape. But lately I had started to feel more tired, almost stale. I had no energy for anything. Even what had been my favourite things failed to spark my interest any longer.

So I sat there on the edge of my bed, thinking of my life, when she walked in. She was the girl of my dreams, what I’d always wanted, and still I had no interest. She hadn’t said anything, but I could tell from the way her eyes looked. She was fully aware as their marriage decayed around them. I didn’t want it, she didn’t want it, but it was there nonetheless. Like termites it stayed, gnawing at the foundations of their union. A collapse was inevitable.

Her eyes… Once so full of fire and passion, but now dull and listless. They used to be a shining silver, like platinum suns in her irises, but now they were simply grey. But what can be done for a dying love? One cannot simply reincarnate their lost feelings for another. But can one renew them? Is it so simple? Is it like the old expression says? Is it like renewing a lease?

Or once lost, is love done and gone? If any of these questions could be answered, I would be content. But for now, I must remain satisfied with this farce I continued to play with my once-loved spouse, sitting on the edge of my bed.






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Comments by other Members



Jubbly at 18:48 on 19 January 2005  Report this post
Hello Odowla, this is beautifully written and extremely poignant. There is not a word wasted and you paint such a sad picture. I love the title too.

Well done

Jubbly

viky7258 at 18:54 on 19 January 2005  Report this post
Quite a nice piece that I think a lot will connect with, however just a pointer or two, you swap from first person perspective to third person within the same paragraph and so it didn't read right.

You were talking from the narrators point of view then it changed.

She was fully aware as their marriage decayed around them

Not sure it should say their after you've used words like I or me etc etc.

Hope this helps.

Odowla at 19:52 on 19 January 2005  Report this post
Thanks alot you guys...


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