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Christmas Present

by Carlton 

Posted: 12 January 2005
Word Count: 65

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Christmas Present

I never wrote to Santa
although I always meant
to ask for something special
a gift that's heaven sent.

I never hoped nor dreamed
to be the one who's touched
by fortunes golden wand
enriched with a touch of love.

But now my sweetheart darling
this christmas past is done;
what joy to wake on christmas morn
wrapped up in all your charm.

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Comments by other Members

Account Closed at 10:48 on 14 January 2005  Report this post
A lovely image - nice to have a bit of light-hearted emotion on this chilly day! I wonder if you might be able to change one of the 2 "touch" words in the second stanza though - as it jars a bit?

And a couple of typos? -

1. Should it be "hoped or dreamed"???

2. "fortune's"

3. Ooh, sudden thought - maybe "enriched with all your love" might work better??

4. "morn" might be too archaic - might "day" do??

Hope this helps!



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