Login   Sign Up 



 

Taming The Wild

by The Walrus 

Posted: 11 January 2005
Word Count: 87
Summary: Always room for improvement...


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


Ambushed, she thrashed.




It was unbidden, the intrusion.
It rudely invaded the tripartite
- mind body soul – dictating
the strength and pace
of her bursting ventricles.

Eyes shut, still it assaulted
with flashback footage panning
across her celluloid eye, spliced
with tempting trailers of movies
that may never be made.

Memory of freedom stung
as she savoured
the bitter sweet of captivity.
Raging behind the silver bars
shooting venomous looks,
damning her desire,
her reward was a kiss
impressed firmly
upon her defiant,
but waiting lips.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



joanie at 17:50 on 11 January 2005  Report this post
Christina, this is making me ponder - a lot!

Memory of freedom stung
as she savoured
the bitter sweet of captivity


... is excellent.

I am really enjoying this - present tense, as I am still reading and digesting.

joanie



The Walrus at 07:21 on 12 January 2005  Report this post
Thanks Joanie, glad you like!

Christina

Chem at 19:25 on 12 January 2005  Report this post
Absolutely fab, I really enjoyed this Bob!

laurafraser at 10:10 on 13 January 2005  Report this post
fantastic sense of urgency and a feeling of the words "spitting' themselves at you, a fast paced piece that assaults you just as the 'one' behind bars-i say one as have to admit not sure if animal or human...in a way doesn't matter as it hads to the allure of the poem-great piece, increadibly well written with diverse language
xlaura

The Walrus at 09:48 on 14 January 2005  Report this post
Em/Laura, thanks for your comments. Appreciated.

The Walrus

Lawrenco at 20:15 on 14 January 2005  Report this post
A think I agree with yes a lot to think about ,but it certainly develops into thoughts whilse kissing (persons unknown)whilse in stir .
Some wonderful interplays,eye`s shut stanza, found it Kubrik meets Spielberg-Agatha from Minority Report.-Some juxtaposition of the inner character of your own character in the poem,-we all live from media experience.
Also reads like a film noir script works on many levels.
Leaves a lot to the imagination ,wasn`t sure about the line "Shooting Venomous looks" it detracted from the intensity of the moment that the poem otherwise delivers,in my opinion.

<Added>

Although if she was being attacked "Shooting venomous looks would make sense.

Ticonderoga at 17:30 on 15 January 2005  Report this post
This is very disturbing; a darkly ambivalent mix of caging, physical force, threat, yielding and, even, perhaps, a hint of tenderness and love?! Will haunt me awhie.


Best,

Mike

roovacrag at 22:00 on 16 January 2005  Report this post
Red a lovely poem and with a touch of
urgency.
xxxxxx
Red mum.


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by The Walrus:      ...view all work by The Walrus