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Her grandmother`s face

by Souchong 

Posted: 29 December 2004
Word Count: 48


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Ophelia has nothing in her pockets,
Tranquil, she oils her way downstream
with thoughts of cinnamon and oranges,
There is no poetry in her thistledown, crocheted
skin, the fine layer of dust in her hands.
Her body ripples, sinuous in the water,
reflected
she sees her grandmother's face.






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Comments by other Members



joanie at 17:55 on 29 December 2004  Report this post
Oh wow, Souchong, I just love this. So much conveyed in so few words. I love Tranquil, she oils her way downstream
with thoughts of cinnamon and oranges,
.... well, I love it all, actually.

joanie


Tina at 08:43 on 30 December 2004  Report this post
Souchong
Thank you for this - all all the lines most I like -

thoughts of cinnamon and oranges,

the delicious sumptuousness of these as possibilities not only for the living but for the dead - did you know that they once used cinammon in embalming? If so very appropriate choice.

Also love the opening line -

nothing in her pockets

so much of - you cannot take it with you!

Wonder about using colour more in this poem as some of the most famous paintings of her all use wonderful colours - especially the Pre-Raphaelite ones.

Lovely work
Thanks
Tina

Souchong at 10:10 on 31 December 2004  Report this post
thanks very much for kind comments and encouragement, joanie and tina. i like the pre-raphaelite link - waterhouse maybe ? - and the info about the cinammon. cheers

souchong



Account Closed at 22:03 on 05 February 2005  Report this post
WOW, this poem is fused with detail, well done.

gard at 22:10 on 05 February 2005  Report this post
Hi Souchong

a lovely piece with gorgeous words! Love the word Thistledown

G

paul53 [for I am he] at 12:55 on 10 March 2005  Report this post
What an absolute gem. Trips over the tongue like scented honey.


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