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by Polly 26 

Posted: 19 December 2004
Word Count: 253
Summary: See below.

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As the days passed one by one
A new problem would erupt and come undone,
My dreams from that point seemed crushed
I just sat and watched it get worse by being told hush.

Intoxicated idiots who would go beyond crazy
Each night become lazy,
Listening to the fights
Every evening would become another lonely night.

Thinking of how long must I live this
Nothing could cure this damage not even a kiss,
All my buttons being pushed
There almost crushed.

Just one life one time
If I had 1/10000 of a penny every time I was hurt I'd have a dime,
Being picked on everyday
Sometimes I wonder why must I pay.

I did nothing wrong
Or is this just a dream of a song,
I wish I could live in a place like heaven
Nothing but sweet dream of seven.

Seven days without pain and sorrow
No one to guide me or to follow,
Just lovely dreams and sweet candy creams
But nothing is this nice its all just people being mean.

Having a knife lay low beside me
Saying this is not the way I should be,
Laying my hand on the floor
Right beside the door.

Reaching out and grabbing hold
Thinking of the sweet dreams I was once told,
Taking hold of the object that will cure my pain
This is it I have gone insane.

Now say good-bye
This is the last time I shall cry,
I have the knife by my side
Now I've gone suicide.

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Comments by other Members

Richard Brown at 12:20 on 21 December 2004  Report this post

This is powerful and truly harrowing. The pain you express seems entirely real and immediate. You paint a vivid picture of domestic unrest, lost dreams, emotional suffering and ultimately, despair. I had a look at your other poems and they are full of anguish too. Though no poet, there are things I could say about the form of the verse but it's not easy to focus on structure when such torment is being expressed, especially by one so young! If, as seems possible, the poems are autobiographical to some degree, it doesn't feel entirely right just to focus on the language and so forth whilst ignoring the deeper meaning. Would it be ok for people to respond on an emotional level or would you rather we stayed focused on the technical stuff? Of course, the verses may be just the product of a powerful imagination. I hope that they are! but I thought it right to ask. Hope this is ok.


Polly 26 at 16:08 on 21 December 2004  Report this post
Richard Brown

Thank you for your comment. My email is WetJumanji@aol.com if you want to email me. ( I didn't make it up ) I have AOL instant messanger if you would like to talk. My sn is JeNnAtOniC dOrK (didn't make that one either) Well all of my poems come from the feelings i feel and real experinces. Hope you like all of my poems. I have some happy ones too don't worry they are not all about this kind of things. Wish to talk to ya soon. Again, thanks.

x0x0---> pOlLy

Richard Brown at 17:13 on 21 December 2004  Report this post
Well, you sound ok, which is a relief. It would be good to see a sunny poem!

Thanks for the offer of a talk but I hope you'll understand if I decline. As you may have gathered, I am part of the WW team and, for all manner of reasons, we have a policy of not getting into personal correspondence with subscribers. Apart from anything else, we would probably have no time to do the work associated with the site if we were to step over the boundaries. It's busy enough as things stand!Another important reason is that we like to keep comments in the public view so that the whole community can participate and benefit.

We do our best to keep the site a safe place but of course anyone can join. It would be worth thinking about taking your personal e-mail address out of the public domain. If you want to communicate with other subscribers there is an internal mail system which protects people from unwanted intrusion into their personal space.

But, as I say, I'm really pleased to hear that there is brightness in your life as well as the darkness expressed in your poems. I look forward to reading something joyful!


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