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by philippa 

Posted: 16 December 2004
Word Count: 284
Summary: A very short story about joining a writers website.

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“Honey, it’s my turn to use the computer.”

“No it’s not. You had it for an hour and I’ve only had ten minutes.”

“Yes, but you just want to chat to your friends. It’s not like you’re doing homework or anything productive.”

Yeah, but you just want to go on that writer website thingy and swap compliments with all those wannabe writer weirdos.”

“They’re not ‘weirdos’ darling, they’re very serious about what they do.”

“They are weirdos. They have names like ’Pink Moccasin Dave’ and ‘Waistcoat Glow Worm’.

“They do not. Anyway you talk to people with names like ‘Twisted Cereal Killa’ and ‘Blayde Sister’. They can’t even spell properly.”

“Oh God, YAWN. Those are cool names and they can spell properly. They just choose not to.”

“I’m trying to write a book you know.”

“Yeah, whatever. Anyway, you never used to use the computer and now you’re a right nerd and you never let us get a look in. “

“That’s not true Honey. You know you use it far more than me.”

“I do not! You spend loads of time on-line hoping you’ve got a message from ‘Grated Cheese’. You should get on with finishing the book and you could perfectly well use the other computer.”

“What, use the old one in the freezing shed?”

“Yeah. Then you wouldn’t have any distractions like us around.”

“Look, I cooked your supper and washed up. You could have been on-line then.”

“We were busy.”

“Busy watching Eastenders and Holby City?”

“Yeah, and now I need the computer to finish writing my Personal Statement for UCAS.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so darling? I’ll go and use the one in the shed.”

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Comments by other Members

Account Closed at 20:45 on 16 December 2004  Report this post
Philippa this is a lot of fun and I'm sure there are plenty of us (with silly user names) who can relate to it! Are you sure it's fiction?!
The only thing i didn't get was the "Personal Statement for UCAS" and why that should then get him off the computer so quickly.


Dee at 21:48 on 16 December 2004  Report this post

Philippa, this reminds me of one side of a dialogue with Roger… have you come across him yet?

It’s very funny and I guess it’ll strike a whole chorus of cords in households across the country!


philippa at 17:14 on 18 December 2004  Report this post
Hello Elspeth,
Thank you for your comment.
UCAS is the University and College Systems Admissions (or something like that) and the 'personal statement' is what A level students apply with along with their grades.

The older user gave up the computer for two reasons: university application means leaving home is imminent (so much less competition for the computer), and older user is an irritating character who believes that higher education is most important.

I like the names really. Wish I'd got one myself.

philippa at 17:22 on 18 December 2004  Report this post
Hello Dee,
Like me, you don't have an alias. I havn't come across Roger but I'd like to. I'm glad it amused you. I have found 'writewords' strangely compulsive......

Dee at 17:52 on 18 December 2004  Report this post
Philippa be warned, it's addictive.

If you’re looking for Roger, you can find him in the archive – I recommend ‘The pointy mousy thing' and, on a completely different theme, 'String knickers'.


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