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Infidelity

by Stacey 

Posted: 23 June 2003
Word Count: 18
Summary: This one was quite experimental for me. Im not sure where the structure came from, but the words just flowed out. Hope you can make some sense of it! - thank you :0)
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Hate
Love
Great stuff

Like
Lust
With trust

Kiss
Hug
A hole dug

Guilt
Pain
Never the same.






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Comments by other Members



olebut at 15:59 on 23 June 2003  Report this post
nice words Stacey

the inevitable suggestions


why not take out 'I've'

in line 9

an perhaps consider making the last line

'never the same'


or even

'always the same'

just an idea

great nonetheless

david x
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Stacey at 16:08 on 23 June 2003  Report this post
Hi David, such great words of advice, as usual. In fact, I am going to do exactly what you said, it works perfectly.
Thank you, your a star!
Stace.
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Ellenna at 16:11 on 23 June 2003  Report this post
great ! nothing more needs to be said..this sums it up alright:)

Ellenna
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Stacey at 16:53 on 23 June 2003  Report this post
Thanks Ellena :0)
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Stavros at 11:48 on 20 January 2004  Report this post
Hello, I'm new to this hope you don't mind a comment. I love the poem's rhythm, can hear a beat running through. I just wondered whether that beat should jar a little at the end. Anyway I liked it!
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