Oohh yea!!
Posted: 22 June 2003 Word Count: 136
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I remember the taste Of that bitter kind of love That taste that took me to the dogs Hung me out to dry Drained me, slaughtered me Hung drawn and quartered me Knocked me sideways with its punch Left me reeling For years With that
Sideways step That slight of hand left me spinning By a strand Then cut me loose Without a sound
Ohh yea
I remember that taste, That bitter taste That you called love That I love you but I'm not in love Cruel jibe That nose dive with an empty promise frill
But still
I remembered To remember To return to My naïve state of being My open hearted, wide eyed Child way of seeing My before I met you dear Way of feeling But boy Do I remember That bitter taste
Comments by other Members
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Stacey at 14:29 on 23 June 2003
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Hi Boydon,
I really enjoyed your poem. It was totally unexpected as the title suggested something completely different-but thats great. I especially liked, 'Drained me, slaughtered me hung drawn and quartered me'. Very emotional, fuelled with anger, but also sadness. Very well done.
Thank you.
Stacey.
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didau at 09:01 on 24 June 2003
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J, it's a thumbs .... up!
Some lovely assonant rhymes and spot on imagery - particularly like the conversational tone 'before I met you dear/Way of feeling' and 'That I love you but I'm not in love/Cruel jibe'.
It reads very well. The only hollow note was on the word 'frill' - the word choice seems very forced in order to rhyme with still.
glad to have you around
david
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Ioannou at 10:28 on 24 June 2003
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This is so fast and right. You take clichés and use them brilliantly in a new way. Don't like frill either. Who needs to rhyme? Captures the sick feeling of losing illusions and our ridiculous human capacity for rebuilding them. Love, Maria.
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Cat at 14:56 on 18 April 2004
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Hi Boydon!
Like the poem too. Be good to hear it live as it has a really rhythm and energy to it. Also thought the word frill wasn't necessary, and wondered about 'cut me loose without a sound' which I didn't understand. This was posted a while back, anymore coming?
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julie763a at 11:37 on 29 June 2005
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Boydon,
Hey, this was great. Found it on a random read and I could hear the music as I was reading it. Song lyric or poetry? Post more, soon!
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