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Oohh yea!!

by Boydon 

Posted: 22 June 2003
Word Count: 136


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I remember the taste
Of that bitter kind of love
That taste that took me to the dogs
Hung me out to dry
Drained me, slaughtered me
Hung drawn and quartered me
Knocked me sideways with its punch
Left me reeling
For years
With that

Sideways step
That slight of hand
left me spinning
By a strand
Then cut me loose
Without a sound

Ohh yea

I remember that taste,
That bitter taste
That you called love
That I love you but I'm not in love
Cruel jibe
That nose dive with an empty promise frill

But still

I remembered
To remember
To return to
My naïve state of being
My open hearted, wide eyed
Child way of seeing
My before I met you dear
Way of feeling
But boy
Do I remember
That bitter taste










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Comments by other Members



Stacey at 14:29 on 23 June 2003  Report this post
Hi Boydon,

I really enjoyed your poem. It was totally unexpected as the title suggested something completely different-but thats great. I especially liked, 'Drained me, slaughtered me hung drawn and quartered me'. Very emotional, fuelled with anger, but also sadness. Very well done.
Thank you.
Stacey.



didau at 09:01 on 24 June 2003  Report this post
J, it's a thumbs .... up!

Some lovely assonant rhymes and spot on imagery - particularly like the conversational tone 'before I met you dear/Way of feeling' and 'That I love you but I'm not in love/Cruel jibe'.

It reads very well. The only hollow note was on the word 'frill' - the word choice seems very forced in order to rhyme with still.

glad to have you around

david

Ioannou at 10:28 on 24 June 2003  Report this post
This is so fast and right. You take clichés and use them brilliantly in a new way. Don't like frill either. Who needs to rhyme? Captures the sick feeling of losing illusions and our ridiculous human capacity for rebuilding them. Love, Maria.

Cat at 14:56 on 18 April 2004  Report this post
Hi Boydon!

Like the poem too. Be good to hear it live as it has a really rhythm and energy to it. Also thought the word frill wasn't necessary, and wondered about 'cut me loose without a sound' which I didn't understand. This was posted a while back, anymore coming?

julie763a at 11:37 on 29 June 2005  Report this post
Boydon,

Hey, this was great. Found it on a random read and I could hear the music as I was reading it. Song lyric or poetry? Post more, soon!


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