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Posted: 02 December 2004
Word Count: 90
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Wensley Behemoth
Chubley File-Cleansing Services
Dear Sir
I write to you following an instruction on your file-cleansing software that I received in 1998. It read ‘Adjust these settings accordingly. When you are happy, click OK’. Five years on, I am still generally unhappy, but desperate to click OK and move on with my life. I would add that, while sitting at my PC during this time, I have missed much of my children’s childhood, am unaware of the current Premiership standings and have German measles inside my bottom.
Yours etc.
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 Account Closed at 11:30 on 02 December 2004
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Audiman, good to see you back. I've missed your little insights into this complicated world.
This one is tragically funny!
Elspeth
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bjlangley at 12:40 on 02 December 2004
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Audiman, good to see you back again. German measles inside the bottom indeed. Made me laugh.
All the best,
Ben
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scottwil at 12:53 on 02 December 2004
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Very funny. Post-post-modern wit.
'I would add that, while sitting at my PC during this time...'
I think you've put your comma in the wrong place here.
'I would add, that while sitting at my PC during this time...'
Best
Sion
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 Dee at 18:49 on 02 December 2004
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Audiman… F@@@ing brilliant!
Welcome back (seems to be a welcoming back day)
I love the sad humour in this – the gut feeling that someone would really do this…
Sion - you know you’re one of my heroes – but I fear you may be wrong… when a pair of commas are used in this way the sentence should read logically without the phrase between the commas… so it would read: I would add that I have missed much of my children’s childhood
hmmm…? OK, it’s debatable. Your version would read I would add I have missed much of my children’s childhood… bit clunky?
Audi… german measles? Inside…? Eurrrkkk!
Dee
xx
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Audiman at 19:15 on 02 December 2004
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Thanks, everyone. And Dee wins on the comma - her explanation is spot-on.
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 crowspark at 22:25 on 02 December 2004
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I am a great believer in the adage that commas have no grammatical function other than to suggest to the reader where it might be appropriate to sob.
Very funny Audiman. We have all been there - 1998.
Bill
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scottwil at 01:46 on 03 December 2004
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You're right, Dee. Mea culpa, Audi. I shall spank myself with a hardback copy of 'Eats shoots and leaves' by way of atonement.
Best
Sion
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Jumbo at 08:43 on 03 December 2004
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Audiman
Very funny. Loved it.
German measles inside your bottom, eh? How did you spot that?
jumbo
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 Nell at 08:36 on 04 December 2004
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Hi Audiman,
The tragedy lies in the truth behind the humour, or perhaps the humour lies in the truth behind the tragedy. And yes, German measles can get in all sorts of places, chicken pox too. I've missed many of these due to all sorts of reasons, but let me know when TAT comes out - I'd like to order a copy.
Nell.
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 Amos at 22:33 on 07 December 2004
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There you go again. Very funny, but very true.
Problem is, as a great deal of software is made in America, if you sent this letter to the US, they would probably believe you.
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